The NBA playoffs this year have been unlike any other. There have been moments of glory, moments of devastation and moments that will make this postseason one for the ages. Like Radmanovic's hair. Commencement is a time for reflection, so I have compiled my favorite NBA Playoffs moments from this special 2005 season. I think I am getting misty already.
I will start with the hometown Celtics, Boston's new lovable losers. It has to be a little disheartening that you played a Pacers team without Ron Artest or a healthy Jermaine O'Neal and still lost three home games, including a 27 point Game 7 drubbing. So much for the ghosts of the Fleet Center.
At least we all saw Paul Pierce blow a gasket at the end of Game 6, when he inexplicably swiped at Anthony Johnson and nearly cost his team the series. I thought Pierce might have acted a little selfishly when he stomped off the court, tore off his jersey and swung it around his head at the crowd like a madman. Of course now I realize he was trying to save the team the humiliation of Game 7. The best moment, though, had to have been Kendrick Perkins' look of sheer terror after being selected to take Pierce's free throws. "You want me to do what?" That was classic.
As for Philadelphia and Detroit, I feel like that series has been over for months now. Is anyone sure they played? All I remember is Samuel Dalembert playing out of his mind and his funny French accent. I think that's all I've got here. I could go on, but I have been told that my "Kyle Korver looks like Ashton Kutcher" jokes are "so yesterday."
The biggest snoozefest of the first round was undoubtedly the Nets-Heat series. The Nets might as well have been the 65th seed in the NCAA tournament. If you want some quick-hitting analysis, I can break down the reason for the sweep in this series in four syllables. Scal-a-bri-ne. Somehow, Ralph Malph could not pull his weight in this series. Shocking to see his team go.
Thankfully, Washington and Chicago was a good series in the East. There was the incredible finish at the end of Game 5, where Jannero Pargo and the Bulls erased a 10-point lead in less than a minute. Jannero Pargo? Where did this guy come from? Was Mike Penberthy in the game too? And then to one-up the incredible, Gilbert Arenas drills the game-winning shot as time expires.
The Wiz went on to win the series (thanks in part to Chris Duhon trying to catch the inbound pass with his back) and printed "we made the second round" t-shirts. Those will be a nice memento after they get sandblasted by the Heat. Even with an injured Shaq, the Wiz struggled. Shaq said of his condition:
"I've been playing like Erick Dampier". Ouch.
Switching to the West, there was not much juice to either the Sacramento/Seattle series or the San Antonio/Denver series. Denver edged the Spurs in Game 1, but they very graciously rolled over and lost the next four games. Sacramento continued their descent, losing to the Sonics in five. Luckily, the Kings ineptitude was overshadowed by an even bigger disaster, Vladimir Radmonovic's hair. Hey Vlad, Serena Williams called and ... well, nevermind.
In the second round matchup between the Sonics and Spurs, the best part has been the love fest between Ray Allen and Bruce Bowen. It is reassuring that in this day of ghetto culture and gangsta rap, NBA players still call each other "sissies." Bruce Bowen must have made fun of "He Got Game" to deserve that one. At least we are seeing a lot of "expletive deleted's" from Ray during dead balls. My ability to lip-read profanity has gone up tenfold thanks to this series.
Getting back to the last two first-round matchups, Memphis and Phoenix was the West's version of Miami and New Jersey. The only saving grace was when Jason Williams lost it after getting swept in Game 4 and stole a reporter's pen. Williams shouted at the writer following the game, refusing to return the pen. "You ain't writin' nothin' homeboy!" Sometimes you cannot make it up.
Finally, the best series of the first round had to be Dallas and Houston. This had all the makings of a classic seven game series. Dallas came back after losing the first two games at home. Shawn Bradley became Tracy McGrady's personal Frederic Weis after being dunked on rodeo-style. Devin Harris inexplicably forgot how to play basketball. The drama triangle between Van Gundy, the league and Avery Johnson. Who does Dallas have to thank for their incredible comeback? Keith Van Horn's ankle, of course. As soon as he went down in Game 3 this team started playing championship basketball. If I were Avery Johnson I would send Del Harris up to Van Horn's hotel room with a crowbar. Maybe another "accident" would keep this team rolling.
But the absolute best moment of the Playoffs has to go to Avery Johnson and his unbelievable fall in Game 1 of the second-round series against Phoenix. Johnson stepped onto the court to argue with an official, and went down in slow motion, flailing his arms as he hit the court. It was bad enough that Dallas was being blown out, but the fall was the icing on the cake. Avery immediately got up and screamed at the officials, desperately trying to get thrown out of the game before anyone could realize what the hell just happened. It was Hands down the best playoffs moment I have seen in years. And that includes Van Gundy hanging like a dog off Alonzo Mourning's leg.
It has been a memorable May so far. Hopefully it will heat up even more as we move into June, where champions, not sissies, are born.
Dennis Doyle is graduating today with a degree in engineering. He can be reached at Dennis.Doyle@tufts.edu.
