I am hurtin'. Not a "Friday morning class" hurtin' or a "just found out your midterm is tomorrow" hurtin'. No, this pain goes much deeper. Quite simply, my legs hurt. Those not-so-quick trips hiking up and down this campus add up and all lead to one thing: constant leg pain.
Some of you may not feel this pain and to you I say: you obviously spend too much time in the gym and not enough time walking to class. Go to class, it's good for you. You'll probably see me on the way, muttering curses under my breath as sweat starts to bead on my forehead. Now, I am from a very, very flat city. It's so flat that I don't know how to use the parking break on my car. So after spending my entire life in South Texas, spending last year getting used to the hill was a huge accomplishment. Of course, over the summer, my calves melted back into their natural jelly-like state. Now I find myself back in beautiful Medford, feeling the burn. This makes me wonder, what would life be like if instead of our founder putting a "light on the hill," he strove to somewhat illuminate that grassy area next to Harvard? In other words, what would life be like if Tufts were flat?
1. There would be no downhill-uphill rivalry. This is obvious. I mean, what would those poor downhill schmoes do? I bet you can tell where I live! (The cool side, duh.) But then there would be no competitiveness, no unique Tufts spirit. I guess we could always cheer for our sports teams...
2. We would get to class on time. I can't tell you how many times I was late to my 10:30 on the hill because I had math at 9:30 in Bromfield Pearson. Oh wait, actually I can. It was every day. I am constantly late to class because I can't convince my sleep-deprived body that it is going to take that long to get to class. So I ditz around and then find myself sprinting to class, increasing the tightness in my legs. And I'm still late!
3. No sledding on the President's lawn. This is an obvious problem. I mean, you can't cross country ski on a dining hall tray!
4. People would not be as time-efficient. I actually started writing this article while killing time in the library because I didn't want to go all the way up the hill to my dorm and back down for class. So I got something accomplished, which clearly is rare for me. All across campus, you can see people perfectly planning out their day around the hill. Backpacks full of work, planning where to eat, where to chill and spend their break between class, and what class is closest to mail services. And again, those poor downhill kids are trying twice as hard. As my friend said, when you live on the fourth floor of South, you pack for the day!
5. We wouldn't die because of black ice. It's embarrassing enough to eat it because you slipped on ice, but slip and slide down an entire hill? Now that's just downright painful. I should know, I slipped straight down the steep walkway down to Hodgdon. I just wanted some sweet and sour chicken, and I ended up with a cold bum with a raspberry.
6. The architecture wouldn't be as interesting. I'm not going to lie, when I toured Tufts, I was very impressed by the construction of Dowling hall. The Texas simpleton in me was like, go in over a bridge? To the seventh floor? That's crazy! What if I want to go to the first floor? Take an elevator and I'm back on the ground!? I have to go here! Also, I know that at least some of you have been walking up Packard after a late night and have wondered why the President's house doesn't slant. Well, maybe that's just me. But again, pretty cool, right?
7. We wouldn't have the best legs in academia. According to some polls, we have some of the ugliest college kids in the country. But darn it, we look good in skirts!
8. We wouldn't have the perfect setup for Spring Fling. We are blessed with a natural amphitheatre. If it weren't for the hill, no one would have been able to see Busta. Oh, wait...
So there you have it, life on the non-hill. Not as painful and frustrating, but without the hill, it wouldn't truly be Tufts, would it? So I guess I'll just have to buck up and think about how lucky we are that we go to a school that is so unique. But as for the pain in my legs, I can't talk about it. My class starts in ten minutes, and it's in Cohen. Great. I'm going to be late. Again.
Meredith Pickett is a sophomore majoring in History. She can be reached via e-mail at Meredith.Pickett@tufts.edu.
