Sex and baseball. Baseball and sex. The American pastime and the universal college pastime. I don't claim to be an expert on either, but the similarities between the two are so obvious that it's nearly impossible not to notice.
And no, I'm not just referring to the "bases" metaphor.
That good old middle-school analogy, while logical in its concept, lacks a great deal of clarity. Okay, so the four Fs are generally accepted. The first two are pretty clear, but rounding second between shortstop and third, things become a little fuzzy. No pun intended. Shortstop isn't really even covered. And really, what happens between second and third can be the most important part of the game for at least half the teams out there, especially considering the huge potential for error.
But I digress. Bases are only the beginning. Those who scorn baseball might do well to read on, especially if it's been awhile since you've been up to bat:
Equipment: Having the right stuff can't hurt your game, but having it and not knowing how to use it properly won't get you further than the minors. And unfortunately, the only way to improve is to just keep playing, no matter how embarrassing the score.
Innings: There's a reason innings are split between teams. If one team is always batting and running the bases, the other team has no chance to score. And that's just not a fair game. Heck, it's not even a real game!
Wild Pitches/Pop Flies/Foul Balls: Anything from a bad day to pre-game jitters can cause these. Hey, they happen. Just don't expect a home run from one, unless you happen to run into one of those players who can hit anything. If you're lucky, you'll get some sympathy from the ump.
Home Runs: A home run doesn't count unless you have touched all the bases, so don't you dare skip any! Each one is there for a reason: use them, keep a foot on them when you're supposed to and enjoy them while you're there! Check in with the base coaches periodically; you don't want to miss any potentially amazing plays.
Spring Training: Of utmost importance. If you don't train long and hard, you won't be ready once the season starts. And no one wants to be unprepared.
Warming Up: Also of extreme importance. You can't always rely on the other team to get you going. And once you're on the field, there's no going back unless you really want to piss off the other team, create uncomfortable situations, and potentially ruin future seasons.
Performance-enhancers: If you're really having trouble hitting them out of the park, or if just getting up to bat gives you the willies, corking your bat is always an option, though its legitimacy is up for discussion. Some people don't care, others are morally opposed.
Hit by Pitch: While this may seem like a fairly simple error to avoid, some people have a bit of trouble with their aim. It can happen by accident or might be a malicious habit of the pitcher. A generally unpleasant experience.
Physical Condition: A help, but not in any way necessary. I mean look at David Ortiz. He plays TONS of ball and he's quite the tub. Skill does not solely rely on physical stature. See below.
Intelligence: The best players have something going on upstairs besides thinking about their own game and have become adept at reading the other team's moves and acting accordingly.
Rookies: If you are one, remember that just because you haven't been playing for long doesn't mean you can't play well. If you play with one, just keep their inexperience in mind; the first season is always the scariest.
Beer: Some people can't enjoy the game without it, but it can be a tricky ally. While it makes the game a heck of a lot more fun to just be around, and the idea of playing gets more and more exciting (and perhaps even more likely), you may find yourself swinging at balls you wouldn't even consider going after without that beer.
Once you actually get on the field, you'd better be able to run in a straight line, or else you'll have a hard time making it home. That could get you kicked out of the game or even fined - and it weighs down your record.
I hope as the post-season fast approaches, these insights help your game, or at least let you appreciate it more. Or if you're content with your stats as they are, play ball!
