With Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore getting married and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes having a baby, big age differences are becoming more and more common and accepted in today's media culture.
But Hollywood is often very different than the real world. Do late library nights, the daily struggle of exams and frat parties on the weekends really mesh well with dating someone who is out of college and in the working world?
Some Tufts students feel that the perks of an age gap in relationships far outweigh the sacrifices.
Senior Meena Bhasin has never dated a guy her own age. "I prefer dating older men because they are more mature and they know how to treat women - they are usually looking for more than just a good hookup," she said.
For senior Claudine Iliev, though, maturity and age weren't deciding factors when she met her 27-year-old boyfriend. "It didn't matter that he wasn't in college; we just clicked," she said. "I don't think maturity would have been an issue. There are mature guys in college and immature guys out of college."
Some students find that they make better connections with guys who have graduated from college and have more world experience. "Older men generally have better insight and a more interesting perception of life and world issues," sophomore Lucy Woolley said. "It makes for deeper and more intellectual conversation in comparison to most of conversations with younger men I know."
"I find we do more things like go watch the ballet or opera rather than staying at home and ordering pizza," Woolley said of her current relationship, which is with an older man. "[My boyfriend] treats me better than younger guys would."
Iliev enjoys dating someone outside of the "college bubble." [It] gives you a broader perspective on what there is to look forward to," she said. "As a panicking senior, he's given me some calming advice."
Woolley's long-distance boyfriend is a stabilizing presence in her life as well. "I talk to him every day. He's my best friend and my boyfriend," she said.
Most men who are past the college age are also financially independent. This kind of economic stability can help offset some parents' initial concern over the age difference.
Bhasin's parents' opinion on the age gap between her and her boyfriends has changed over the years, "When I was younger, there was more reason to be worried about me dating older men," she said. "But now the age gap is getting smaller, and I think as I graduate college, the idea of a guy being financially stable is more appealing to my parents."
For Iliev's parents, her boyfriend's financial security was not a matter of high concern. "My parents just like him. I think they care more about me being financially stable than my boyfriend being financially stable," she said.
Woolley enjoys the freedom that having an economically independent boyfriend brings to a relationship. "He has his own place so he can cook romantic dinners," she said. She also said that going out to bars together is never an issue either because he is not worried - like many younger guys - about every dollar he spends.
When dating a man who is several years older, some "dating dilemmas" and awkward situations can arise. When Iliev was introduced to one of her boyfriend's coworkers at a wedding, she recalls their conversation going like this: "Friend: So, what do you do? Claudine: Oh, I'm a student. Friend: Ah, grad student eh? Claudine: Um, actually I'm an undergrad. Friend: Oh, so finishing up your last year? Claudine: Well, I'm in my sophomore year. Friend: Uh-huh."
Woolley and Bhasin have experienced a few similarly awkward situations as well. Both have had the unfortunate experience of having someone mistake her boyfriend for her father. Also, when Woolley was 16, she was dating a 24-year-old who was her geography teacher's best friend.
"I'd end up hanging out with my teachers at the pub after school and [my geography teacher] knew everything about my love life," she said.
Awkward situations may not be the only downside to dating an older man. Some specialists warn that these relationships can cause psychological damage. "These relationships can be mutually exploitative. The girl uses the older man to gain access to the adult world, while the man exploits the girl to regain his youth," Oakland, Calif.-based therapist Beth Bernstein said in a Teen Vogue article on the subject.
"Difference in developmental stages can impact a relationship more than a difference in just age," Bernstein said.
Woolley and Bhasin have noticed that large age gaps can have a big effect on a relationship because each person is in a completely different stage of life. According to Woolley, toward the end of some of her past relationships, the older boyfriend started to feel uncomfortable with the age difference between them.
"I would feel almost infantile, talking about my college life, my exams and my classes when they were talking about a deal or promotion they wanted to get at work," she said.
Nonetheless, the fact that Woolley and her current boyfriend, Charlie, are in different stages in life, has not affected their relationship. "Charlie is proud that I go to university and that I study a lot," she said. "He encourages me and he completely embraces my college life. We just work well together; he's amazing."
After meeting Charlie at a bar after work in England this summer, Woolley's long-distance relationship with him is still going strong. He has already visited her once this year, and she plans to visit him in a few weeks. She is taking a vacation over New Year's with him and his kids.
