I quit. I can't do this anymore.
I can no longer sit here and watch as my Philadelphia teams continue to disappoint, so I'm making it public right here and now.
I'm out. I'm done. No more.
I'm giving up on you bums once and for all. All Eagles, Phillies, Sixers and Flyers, please exit stage left.
I just can't sit here any longer watching teams lose, choke, or fall apart. I'm spent.
Anybody who knows me knows that I don't like the New England Patriots. It took four straight tries for the Eagles to make the Super Bowl, and when they finally did, they got beat by the Patsies.
But I honestly wish the Eagles would play more like the Patriots. For the first time in my three-year collegiate career, I watched the Patriots resemble the Eagles, throwing four interceptions with the final one coming from a bonehead dropped ball by Kevin Faulk as the team was driving to make another improbable comeback on Sunday against Peyton.
Other than that hiccup, the Patriots have always wrapped up close games and never falter under pressure. Meanwhile, the Eagles routinely rip your heart out and jump on it, with their first three losses coming in the fourth quarter. They almost blew another one against the Cowboys. And don't get me started on previous seasons. There's only so much room in this column.
Additionally, the Pats never have a problem plugging holes. The two-man tandem of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick is all the franchise has needed. Players like Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, Deion Branch, David Givens, and Willie McGinest have come and gone, but the winning hasn't left.
The Birds, in the meantime, flush money down the toilet on players like Antonio Freeman, Levon Kirkland, Mark Simoneau and others while also going after top talent like Jevon Kearse and Terrell Owens. And how many Super Bowls do they have to show for it?
As for the Phillies, I can't take another late-season collapse. Born in 1985, I saw one winning season in the first 16 years of my life (ended by perhaps the most heart-breaking home run in history. Thanks Joe Carter). Now all we get are winning seasons, but no playoff runs. The disturbing complacency keeps the Philthies at the bottom of the barrel among Philadelphia sports teams. Say what you will about Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins, but until they play a meaningful game in October, they will be yesterday's news in Philadelphia.
The Oakland Athletics have earned five playoff berths in seven years, with four of those being division titles, despite having one of the lowest payrolls in baseball. Yankees and Cardinals fans routinely get to watch dynasties establish their dominance. Even Red Sox fans get to watch meaningful baseball, even if they have to watch Josh Beckett blister in the sun. Hell, I've seen the Marlins win two World Series titles in my lifetime, while the Phillies have one in 123 years. Thanks guys, but no thanks.
The Flyers and Sixers make more changes than one can count, with surprisingly few positives. Both teams have gone through a myriad of coaches (the Flyers have had four since 1999 while the Sixers have gone through four since 2003) and players. And yet both teams, in their disturbingly Philadelphian manner, have yet to bring back a title as the Sixers continue to waste Allen Iverson's prime and the Flyers continue to stumble trying to figure out how to turn money into titles. Don't talk to me about the Sixers starting 3-0. It's an 82-game season, and Kyle Korver can't shoot this hot forever.
It's just such a depressing
phenomenon. No pro sports team has won a title in Philadelphia since 1983. Sure, Cleveland hasn't had a title since the Browns took the NFL Championship in 1964. But they don't even have four sports teams. We're the city of Rocky. But remember, Rocky lost. He didn't win the title until the second movie, further proof that Philadelphia is a city of almosts, maybes and didn't-quite-cut-its.
Maybe I'm a pessimist. Maybe I just look for the downside of everything. Then again, the Eagles did lose three straight NFC Championships (two at home) before finally winning one ... and then losing in ugly fashion to the Patriots in the Super Bowl. The Phillies have choked en route to the wild card in every one of the past six seasons. And the Flyers and Sixers both routinely lose in the playoffs.
I wouldn't know what to do if one of them won it all.
But maybe that's why I've been a Philadelphia fan for so long. Everybody criminalizes us for pelting Santa Claus with snowballs, pelting J.D. Drew with batteries, cheering an injury to Michael Irvin and booing Kobe Bryant. But what do we have to be happy about?
I couldn't handle cheering and being excited for a team. When would I get a chance to boo? Who would I boo? How would it work?
Scratch it all. I can't give up the Phillies because it would be too hard to be happy. I wouldn't have the satisfaction of passing on my disgust to a professional athlete who just cost his team a win or a coach who made another bonehead decision. I need my booing, so I need my Philadelphians. Rocky and all.
