Dear SOS,
During orientation, I made what I thought were tons of new BFFz. I ate in Dewick with some cool girls from New Jersey, joked about orientation awkwardness with this boy from Puerto Rico and even got hypnotized with a ton of other super cool freshman. Now, all of the sudden, it seems as if the Halloween spirit scared away all of the freshman friendliness: People I spent hours talking to during orientation now don't even say "hi" to me! And then there are those "orientation overtimers," who just didn't seem to get the hint two months ago and continue to excessively text me.
This is not OK. SOS, please help me figure out a way to approach this social predicament. What will suffice in passing: a wave, a smile, a look-away-and-pretend-that-brick-over-there-is-REALLY-interesting? What kind of acquaintance merits a short convo? A hug? A detour? Help!
Sincerely,Greeting-Guesser Guy
Dear Greeting-Guesser Guy,
People's attitudes at the beginning of the year are like flowers: They are really nice and pleasant at first, but if you don't keep maintaining your care for them, they begin to slowly die off until they are shriveled and dead and have tainted the very soil they grow in. Whoa, that was intense; I've really been getting into these metaphors lately.
But in all honesty, you can't expect people to stay friends with everyone they've met in the past two months. Orientation is a chance to meet a bunch of different types of people and then slowly "weed out" the types you are least compatible with (botany pun DEF intended).
Due to the nature of college life, you can't always count on running into the same people from your pre-orientation or host advising groups with the frequency that you did at the beginning of the year. This means that you actually have to go out of your way to seek out the friends you made in such aforementioned groups.
Unfortunately, the contrary to such phenomenon occurs at what seems to be an even more detrimental rate. Usually, it tends to be the "overtime" texters, unintentional meal partners and borderline stalkers who you run into what seems like EVERY day on your walk up to Olin.
Little do you know, this issue is very much under your control: It all lies in anticipatory regimentation. At college, it is very easy to fall into a habituated daily schedule. (i.e. Rise at 9:15 a.m., wake up sleepy-slash-lazy friend via phone, walk to Dewick at 9:50 a.m., finish yogurt parfait by 10:18 a.m., get to class at Olin by 10:27 a.m. ... Uh, yeah, please don't stalk me, kthx).
In order to avoid an encounter with unwanted individuals, you have two options: Shift your schedule to three minutes earlier (This will give you time to grab a Daily! Yay!!!!!!!1111!!one!1shift); or take an alternate route to class (Detour? No. Exercise? Yes!). Hopefully, either of these options will swiftly result in the use of the phrase, "I haven't seen you in forever! Where have you been?" (And, no, you are not obligated to respond with, "Actually, I now leave Dewick at 10:16 a.m. and take the steps across from Health Services just to avoid an interaction with YOU!")
I hate to be realistic, but in all honesty, it is impossible to go through your entire college career without having an awkward interaction here and there (HA, try every day that ends in "y"), and thus, you must find a way to face such exchanges head-on.
And in actuality, most interactions don't have to be awk: Real friends (i.e. meal partners, hallmates, people you text on a tri-weekly basis) should merit either a hug (depending on the length of time since your last union) or a simple "Hey, babe/dude/lover/nick-name-that-shows-everyone-else-just-how-close-you-are!"
Semi-friends (i.e. ambiguous floored dorm-mates, lab partners, mutual friends) are where we venture into awk territory: A smiley "hey" will usually suffice, or a wave may be employed when at a great distance or when in mid-convo with a closer (in relationship or proximity) friend.
When it comes to romantic affiliates, an entire cross section of reactions can ensue, ranging from the sharp look-away (bad kisser) to the flirtatious, "Hey, you!"
Facebook friends and party friends are the worst: In no way should a random friend request or "OMG, your K-Fed costume is wicked ill!" bonding sesh result in a need to make your friendship translate into the sunny daytime hours.
In times of dire need, although pretty tool-ish in its nature, the cell phone can really act as a safety net when you've fallen into the depths of an awk sitch: What was that? A txt msg? No? Okay, well I'll just pretend it was as I aimlessly scroll down my contacts list.
Next time, try turning over a new intellectual leaf: I give you full permission to read this very article as a means of deterring an awk interaction. Okay, read that sentence one more time. And again. Okay, you're safe; she passed, thinks you didn't see her, and finds you quite the smartie-pants.
Contact Charlotte to get advice for all your problems at Charlotte.Steinway@tufts.edu.
