This is the story of a columnist: a college student, just like any of us, who one day found himself faced with adversity. He had not planned to be faced with such tumult. But then again, none of us ever do. He was sitting in a movie theater, watching the movie trailers for potential Oscar contenders whirl by, when tragedy struck. For the screen had assaulted the poor boy with the five fatal words:
"Based on a True Story."
And with that, our columnist knew that the rest of this trailer (as well as the movie being advertised) was going to suck. And here's why.
Why is it that whenever November rolls around and brings with it all the "prestige" movies, we get about 20 movies that are all "based on a true story?" Is that really supposed to be that impressive? "This movie has to be good - something sort of like the plot (but probably far more complicated and with much blurrier lines between good and evil) actually happened!"
Um, first off, wouldn't that have the opposite effect? Call me crazy, but I would probably be more blown away by an amazing movie with a fascinating plot ... if the plot came from the screenwriter's imagination. I mean, yes, kudos to you, Mr. Screenwriter, Sir, for reading a history book (or maybe two!) and thus being far more literate in past events than the average American.
But all you've shown us is that: a) you can read, and b) you can translate stuff semi-decently into a different medium. And this isn't even a case like "Lord of the Rings" (2001), where the director has millions of fans (who are angry that they still have not gotten a date and want to unleash that rage on someone) breathing down his neck to make sure he does it right. I hardly doubt Steven Spielberg had ardent historians hounding him that he better include every figure of even minimal importance in "Munich" (2005).
And then, of course, there is the other big problem that pervades about 95 percent of these "based on a true story" movies. It's a big secret that people in Hollywood are hoping that the audience will never catch onto. Are you ready for it? Are you sure? Here it comes ... ALL OF THESE MOVIES ARE THE SAME!
Yes. That's right. They are all the same. They are all about someone (who, nine out of ten times, is either a normal, everyday Joe ... or, better yet, an underdog) in some time of trouble that you either know about or feel like you should. And you know what's going to happen to this everyday Joe/underdog? He's going to be faced with unsurpassable circumstances that in no conceivable way can be surpassed.
So, you watch him fail and feel great schadenfreude, right? Wrong! He's going to come out against all odds and triumph and get the girl/guy and save the world and all that other wonderful crap that kind of makes you question how much this is actually based on a true story.
Don't believe me? Well then, just go out and rent "Seabiscuit" (2003) and "Cinderella Man" (2005). What you'll find are two nearly identical stories of a man/horse who has no chance of ever winning a match/race, yet somehow becomes the best boxer/racehorse in the entire United States and single-handedly brings the country out of the Great Depression and eventually goes on to beat up Adolf Hitler and end World War II.
Okay, I made up that last part, but the point's still valid.
I will concede, though, that there is also the subculture of "based on a true story" movies that, while still extremely clich?©, is far less cheery. These are the films that say, "Life sucks, then you die. And look! We have actual, real-life proof about how much life sucks!" You know, the ones that have not one happy moment in them. But even these movies start to blend together in their bleakness.
Now, I'm not saying that all movies that are "based on a true story" are bad and unoriginal. There are good movies that are based on real events. Just like there are good movies that are based on books ... and television shows ... and comics ... and poetry ... and other movies ... and so on. They just happen to be few and far between. And happen to rely on stuff like, you know, good writing and acting and such to sell a movie instead of simply how "real" the story is.
So, my dear reader, keep this all in mind as Oscar season quickly approaches. We've already learned this lesson due to a certain craze this past decade in television. Now the time has come for us to apply it to the big screen as well: Just because it's sort of real, does not mean it's good. In fact, more often than not, it will mean the opposite.
Devin Toohey is a sophomore majoring in Classics. He can be reached at Devin.Toohey@tufts.edu.
