Considering the eight columns I have put out so far, it would be very understandable if someone thought that I hated everything about pop culture. I mean, after all, I do spend a good deal of time (or words, actually) ranting about everything wrong with it (and, yes, there are a lot of things wrong with it). But, in truth, there are many things about pop culture I do like.
Of course, these things would not be appropriate for a column titled, "When Pop Culture Goes Bad." However, coming up next Thursday is Thanksgiving, so I've decided that instead of making some complaint about the Macy's Day Parade or Ocean Spray cranberry sauce or something like that, I am going to spend this column talking about something in pop culture that I am indeed thankful for: fans of low-rated television shows who, if given the option, would save said television show from cancellation over saving a human life.
Your eyes do not deceive you. I did just say I am thankful for them. And, to the even bigger nonbelievers, I did just confirm that those types of fans do exist. The chances are pretty high (especially if you live in an American collegiate environment ... like us) that you know one of these fans ... and you're probably even friends with him or her. Furthermore, the odds are rather decent that you ARE an example of one of these fans. I know that I am one of them. I mean, as terrible as it sounds, if I was up against the likes of someone like the Riddler or Dr. Octopus or Hannibal Lecter or Scary Spice, and I was given the choice of preventing a three-year-old girl from being dropped into a pit of snakes or getting a few more seasons of "Arrested Development" ... let's just say that my guilt would be easily assuaged by watching the hilarious new antics of the Bluth family.
What's that you say? I'm a horrible monster? I'm without compassion or a soul? Okay, yeah, you're probably right, but I hardly think the statement I just made has any bearing on that. When you think about it, I'm really looking out for the good of mankind by making that choice. The good of the many over the good of the few and all that other stuff that I'm pretty sure Ayn Rand disagrees with (or maybe she agrees with - I don't know, I've never actually read any Ayn Rand).
I mean, look, if shows like "Arrested Development" and "Freaks and Geeks" were saved, consider all the good that would be done to society. Thousands of people would be happy, and perhaps our culture would even be furthered to a higher state. Then, when the remnants of the great United States empire are dug up millennia later, people can marvel at how advanced we were for our time. What's a mere human going to do for the betterment of society? Okay, true, there are individuals who accomplished a lot, but they are few and far between.
So, aside from being one of them, why do I admire these fans so much? Simple: In a world with so much apathy or energy towards stupid things like voting on "American Idol," they selflessly put their lives on the line day after day in hopes of saving one of the few good things left in this rotten time period we call "the present." They watch their shows stoically, knowing that every bittersweet episode could be their last. They create petitions to save the show, holding out hope that signatures on the Internet actually mean something. They display unconditional goodwill towards other fans of the show. And, as I'm sure you all know, it's pretty damn hard to find unconditional goodwill nowadays.
And best of all, inside all this valiant exterior, they have resigned themselves to the fact that their favorite show is going to be cancelled. Therefore, they do not even bother you anymore to watch it (because by this point, it is a pointless plea). Isn't it just nice to know that people can love a television show without annoying you about it? It may require the crushing of their souls, but it's still nice.
And with that, I end my ode to those fans. If you are one of them and reading this article, stand up and take a bow. No, it does not matter if no one else knows why you're doing it or if you're in the middle of a lecture right now. Do it.
Seriously, I'm not going to end this column until you do it. Have you done it? Good. And see? It wasn't that bad.
Join me again next time when I return you all to our regularly scheduled programming of complaining and lamenting.
