Let me begin by saying something that probably won't surprise anyone one bit.
I hate Derek Jeter.
I hate everything about him. I hate that he's never had to experience a single season without October baseball. I hate that he wins Gold Gloves despite having less range than most Little League shortstops. I hate that he can maintain his dignity despite having dated Mariah Carey. I hate that he's not even the best shortstop on his own team. And of course, I hate his open-mouthed gnawing on Big League Chew that makes him look like a cow chewing cud.
All of that being said, I'm willing to admit that Derek deserved the American League MVP award.
I gradually climbed onto the Jeter bandwagon near the end of the season. For most of the year, I had my heart set on a David Ortiz win. That is, until September, when Derek hit .368, and Papi ... got hurt. That was the end of that.
By the season's final weekend, I was ready to concede the MVP to Derek. I sat through the entire miserable postseason, watching the Yankees choke and the Cardinals stumble their way through the most pathetic World Series in recent memory. I listened to one idiotic theory after another from distraught Yankee fans, everything from "we should fire Torre" to "we should trade A-Rod to the Cubs." And I waited, patiently, for Derek to win his first MVP award on Nov. 21.
And then, the unthinkable happened. The award went to the Twins' Justin Morneau.
I was confused. Puzzled. Dumbfounded, even. I felt as though I must have been forgetting something. I went back through Morneau's stats, desperately trying to find an explanation. Unfortunately, all I could find were Morneau's ranks among AL hitters this season.
Batting average? Seventh. On-base percentage? 18th. Slugging? Sixth. OPS? Seventh. Home runs? 12th. Doubles? Tied for 18th.
Sorry, but nothing about those numbers screams "MVP!" to me. But for some reason, 15 writers voted for Morneau as their top choice. To all 15 of you, I'd just like to say: I'm amazed that any of you still have a job.
So here's a more reasonable idea - next time around, just follow my advice. I have five simple pointers, and if you follow them next time around, then maybe you guys can avoid looking like ignorant hacks. Without further ado ...
First of all, start paying attention to the little things. Yes, Morneau bested Jeter in the flashy statistics, like home runs and RBI, but look a bit deeper. Jeter had 39 doubles, more than any of the other MVP candidates. He drew 69 walks, which isn't much, but at least it's more than Morneau. Jeter was an absolutely astounding 34-for-39 in his stolen base attempts. And, oh yeah ... he almost won a batting title with an average 23 points higher than Morneau's and an OBP 42 points better. These numbers aren't always the ones making headlines, but they definitely help teams win.
Second, stop buying into this crazy notion that a candidate's team has to make the playoffs. If you really must vote for a power hitter rather than a complete player like Jeter, the correct choice isn't Morneau - it's Ortiz. Why vote for a guy with 34 home runs when you can take the one with 54? Morneau drove in 130 runs? Papi drove in 137. True, the Red Sox didn't make the playoffs, but does that make Ortiz less valuable? I think not.
Third, what about pitchers? I don't actually mind if you vote for a Twin, but instead of voting for Morneau, how about giving the nod to Johan Santana? He may have only played every fifth day, but he can make a claim that Morneau clearly cannot - Santana does what he does better than anyone else in the universe. He led the American League in every single pitching category you can name, whereas offensively, Morneau didn't crack the top five in anything, except RBI (baseball's most overrated statistic). When I picture a dominant performer in a Twins uniform, I picture Santana, not Morneau.
Fourth, start looking for consistency, not flashes of greatness. Yes, Morneau had 18 home runs in June and July, and yes, you could argue he had as good a second half as anyone in baseball. But what happened before that? Well, Morneau hit .208 in April, and as late as June 8, he had a batting average of .235 and an OBP of .295. What would happen if his two halves were reversed? We would call Morneau the biggest choke artist of the year and laugh at how the Twins only beat out the Tigers by one game. But instead, Morneau wins the MVP, and ... oh my God, the Twins won the division!
Finally, let's get rid of this Canadian bias in sports media. So far, three major sports leagues have crowned MVPs in 2006 (sorry, Ryan Howard, you're not actually in a major league until you sign with an AL team). And inexplicably, all three plaques have been shipped over the border. First came the NHL, opting for Joe Thornton (yes, Bruins fans, that Joe Thornton), then came the NBA picking Steve Nash, and finally, Morneau this November. What's next, Mike Vanderjagt in the NFL? I sure hope not.
Writers, for the sake of good old red-blooded Americans everywhere, get your acts together.
Evans Clinchy is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major.
