So imagine this: you're running late, doing the skip-a-step sprint up the library stairs headed toward your language class - you know, that one where there are few enough people that everyone is placing bets on when you'll arrive. Then it happens. Just as you are speed walking through the quad, confident that you'll arrive in no time, there is the "stop and chat" sighting: that cute guy/girl that you have been waiting forever to ask out.
Hoping that your prospect doesn't see you, you suavely re-direct your path to hide behind Jumbo, yet you've been spotted since you locked eyes during the "You had me at Ballou" moment ages ago. Now you're stuck - five minutes late for class, caught hiding behind a massive chunk of papier-m??ch?© like a three-year-old playing hide and seek. You've got a lot of 'splaining to do. While scientists have examined this phenomenon for centuries, "Seinfeld" creator Larry David brilliantly dubs it the "Stop & Chat."
Why do we all fear the "S&C"? Because it always occurs when we are least prepared. Far too often we are walking to Tisch, desperately seeking a distracting conversation, and we resort to calling our moms, (all while pretending that we are mumbling about Aunt Sylvia's upcoming birthday bash with our ... roommate.) The S&C rarely occurs during these situations, because that would be too ... convenient. I proudly present to you the following Stop & Chat scenarios, in hopes that the next time you come across one, you won't find your head behind Jumbo's tuchus.
1) The "Sup?" You see an acquaintance directly in front of you from afar and pretend that you didn't notice in order to avoid yelling and allow for a comfortable approach during the infamous "distance gap." Then, just as you simultaneously acknowledge each other, you up-nod your head and mutter, "Sup?" instantly receiving the exact same reply. Clearly, by asking a question and getting the exact same question as a response, you are really making progress. (Note: "Sup?" can often be replaced with such favorites as "Yo," "Hey" and, particularly with girls, "Hiiiiiiiii.") Awkward Rating: 2
2) The Unintentionally Prolonged S&C: As the Stop and Chat nears an end and you noticeably glance at your watch, you exchange "Byes," assuming that you will part ways. You then find that you are both actually continuing to walk in the same direction...to the same building...to the same seminar (you really messed up this time.) Needless to say, this is not very good. Sometimes you find yourself taking an alternate route just to avoid the confrontation that will lead to this tragic situation. However, the recommended approach is to follow the person and when he or she holds the door for you at Cabot pull a classic "Whoa, long time no see!" Awkward Rating: 7
3) The "Caught in the Line of Fire:" You think you are going to start a stop and chat with someone who you merely recognize (possibly even a facebook friend), due to their eye contact from a distance and enthusiastic "HEY!" You respond with, "Hey, how have you be-" suddenly realizing that your reply is being overpowered by their intended recipient standing right behind you. Yet, they heard your response and feel bad that your face is turning frat-cup-red of embarrassment, so they give you the pity S&C. Awkward Rating: 9
We are living in a fast-paced world. As Sir Ferris Bueller once comically stated, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." In the Northeast, asking a passing friend, "How are you?" is rarely intended to develop into an actual conversation.
With all sarcasm aside, let us embrace the Stop & Chat and recognize the importance of asking someone how they are and actually meaning it. Something is very unfortunate about the fact that one of the first things my Hawaiian friend noticed about Boston during freshman orientation was how many people would ask him how he was doing and then walk away as he was replying. That's just awkward. So get over it and embrace this overlooked daily occurrence. Who knows - maybe your next "Stop & Chat" will turn into a "Stop & Awkward Hook-up."
Michael Stone is a senior majoring in psychology.
