The type of person who studies abroad in Paris is often admittedly a Francophile - someone who greatly appreciates and is interested in the French language, culture, history, cuisine, whatever. It would be a lie to say that I haven't fantasized about living here since my first language courses in high school.
The myth of Paris has an intoxicating scent, one to which I have surely fallen prey.
But there is a difference between obsession and imitation, and I increasingly find a subspecies of study abroad student here who fancy themselves to be figuratively, if not literally, French.
Apparently these wannabe Michels and Maries think that having lived in Paris for two months gives them the right to comport themselves as if they flew out of the womb wearing a beret and smoking a cigarette.
I like to call these little sycophants "Ameritrash," and I encounter them surprisingly often. But where does this desire to efface all that is American and pretend you are European come from?
I suppose the Ameritrash were those kids who liked to assume that life in Europe was automatically better than life in America even before ever setting foot on the continent. With this illogical premise cemented in their brains, it's no surprise that they immediately morph into the bastard offspring of Eurotrash and self-hating Americans.
The first phase of their transformation is usually a complete overhaul of their wardrobe. Now I could understand updating your wardrobe with a few nice new things; the French definitely dress more formally than Americans do. But what's the point of trying so hard to look French? If you couldn't pull off skin-tight pants and a beret in the United States, you're probably not going to pull it off now.
And what's with the omnipresent scarves? I know it's a fashion accessory, but it's just not necessary to wear wool pythons around your neck in fifty degree weather.
Ameritrash also like to pretend that their French is so good that they are forgetting how to speak English. "Euhhhh ... how do you say it in English ... tee hee, oh my god, I can't remember!" they squeal smugly.
All I have to say is: Yeah right. You can barely conceal your Midwestern accent when you order a caf?© - you're definitely not forgetting how to speak English.
Ameritrash also like to do the European double-cheek kiss ... with other Americans. If you want to kiss-kiss with an actual French person go ahead, but why would you give a greeting you would never fathom using at home to a fellow American? Keep your pretentious lips to yourself.
And while they're kiss-kissing their American friends, female Ameritrash are also on a desperate quest to do much more than that with their very own French boyfriends.
I don't know how many times I've overheard a girl recounting how some striking (average/ugly/too old) Frenchman swept them off their feet (made out with them in a bathroom) and promised to be their boyfriend (occasionally hook-up).
It must be the easiest thing in the world for a French guy to get an American girlfriend. There must exist an entire league of French guys who prey exclusively on the American college girls brought in by the boatload each semester.
But the most glaring and annoying custom of the Ameritrash is their constant bickering and debasement of the United States. While dressed in their new, expensive clothes, they complain about America's "rampant materialism," ignoring the fact that they nearly all come from upper-class families (Paris is expensive) or that France is a country obsessed with high-quality and luxury goods.
They are the first ones to spout off about the "quality of life" here and the "lack of culture" in the United States, without ever defining those terms. And they profess their yearning to live in Europe permanently, even as they all know that their semester abroad is more like an extended vacation paid for by parents.
It's funny because I've never considered myself to be some flag-waving, super-patriotic American. On the contrary, I've always acknowledged and felt that America has a lot of problems to deal with. But this hypocritical denial of being American is too much.
Paris is a seductive city, and I can admit to identifying with the Ameritrash's ardent desire to fit in. Yet for them it's become trendy to bash America, and what is saddest about it is how much of their bashing is vapid and superficial.
They repeat the same tired criticisms while ignoring everything great about the United States.
No one ever seems to bat an eye at French elitism though - the French constantly squawk about their superior food, culture and way of life, and no one seems to care or disagree.
So what's so wrong with liking being an American? What's wrong with comparing the two countries and deciding (yes, I know I'm biased) that some things are better in America? The Ameritrash can go on playing their affected charades, but in the end they'll just be Americans - and that's not really such a bad fate after all, is it?
Adam Winograd is a junior majoring in international relations. He can be reached at adam.winograd@tufts.edu.
