I have to say I was disappointed with this year's Super Bowl. No, not because the Patriots were absent, or because the ads were below par (except for the beard comb-over one), or even for the sloppy play that characterized most of the game. No, what disappointed me most was Boomer Esiason, who missed a prime opportunity to compare Peyton Manning once more to Dan Marino.
We all remember Boomer's infamous comments made after the Patriots knocked the Colts out of the playoffs in 2004, saying that perhaps Peyton Manning was this generation's Dan Marino. Since then, I've waited with bated breath every time Boomer and Marino are in the same room with each other for Boomer to make another inflammatory comment. And this year's Super Bowl was it - the last chance for Boomer to remind the world that Manning just may go down as the other greatest quarterback in NFL history not to win the big game, second only to Dan Marino, of course.
But alas, there would be no on-air brawl. And now that Manning is finally headed to Disney World, Marino can rest easy knowing that he remains the greatest loser in the eyes of sports fans ... and Boomer Esiason.
What of the game itself?
To be honest, without the Patriots, I just didn't care. I appreciated the significance of having two African-American coaches in the Super Bowl, and I was glad to see Tony Dungy finally capture his first Super Bowl title. But no, I wasn't happy to see Peyton Manning finally win the big game. And about the only highlight was when Adam "Judas" Vinatieri missed that field goal. I'll tell you, Bill Belichick wasn't the only person in New England with a smile on his face when that happened.
As for the Bears, Rex Grossman proved his detractors correct. I don't know who looked more uncomfortable on Sunday: Grossman or David Spade being forced to watch the game alongside Patrick Warburton (Puddy from "Seinfeld") and that other guy in promotion of their new CBS sitcom.
Of course the unintentional comedy highlight of the night came when the trailer for the new John Travolta-Tim Allen film appeared. I repeat: JOHN TRAVOLTA and TIM ALLEN are in a movie together. Alongside William H. Macy and Martin Lawrence, the four are in the upcoming film "Wild Hogs." What, was the upcoming "Welcome Back, Kotter" movie too degrading? But the film did provide a perfect analogy for the night: John Travolta is to "Wild Hogs" as Rex Grossman is to the Super Bowl - neither belongs together. I admit, I thought Grossman would finally get it together for the big game. Call it wishful thinking. Call it momentary insanity. But as soon as I saw that first abhorrent lob by Rex, I knew the Bears were in for a long night.
Thankfully there was an alternative sporting event to capture my attention. I'm not sure I can do justice in describing the drama, the pathos and the triumph, the spirit of what has come to rival the grandeur of the Super Bowl. So I'll let Wikipedia do the job for me.
"Puppy Bowl is an annual three-hour television show on Animal Planet. Shown opposite the Super Bowl, it has the highest ratings of any show shown at that time on cable besides the Super Bowl. It features a number of puppies playing in a model stadium with no audience, minimal commentary and instant replay shots and bowl cam [a camera at the bottom of the puppies' water bowl]. As of 2006, a half-time show, the 'Bissell Kitty Half-Time Show,' was also included featuring a group of kittens taking the field on a large scratching post for 30 minutes."
With its inception in 2005, the Puppy Bowl is the spectacle of all spectacles. Think of that chipmunk on water skies. Now imagine watching that for three hours and you'll have some sense of Puppy Bowl. Of course, the game is not without controversy. Just like the infamous Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" in 2004, the halftime show of Puppy Bowl II was marred when a confetti finale blast sent most of the kittens fleeing in fear.
The game itself is a bit of a free-for-all, with the only penalty being "Illegal Motion," for when the dogs have an "accident" on the field; timeouts are allowed only when the water bowls need refilling. Now, it seems hard to believe that people actually want to watch a bunch of puppies scurrying around on a mini-football field for several hours. For context, however, Puppy Bowl II averaged 690,000 viewers for its broadcast. According to Wikipedia, that's the equivalent of MSNBC's rating for the president's State of the Union address.
So on Sunday, Peyton Manning wasn't the only big winner. Mark a "W" for adorableness thanks to the one bowl that never disappoints. I, for one, can't wait for Puppy Bowl IV. Maybe that will finally be the year Milo the Golden Retriever wins it all. Or else he might just go down as this generation's Spot, the canine Dan Marino of Puppy Bowl lore.
Andrew Bauld is a senior majoring in English and political science. He can be reached at andrew.bauld@tufts.edu.
