Every now and then, I find that the world of pop culture manages to outdo itself in terms of ludicrousness and sleaziness. We are currently in the middle of one of those "now and then"s. Over the past few days, we have found ourselves hit with not one, but two stories that (if they were not real) I would have sworn were merely the wet dreams of some editor of the National Enquirer.
I'll fill you in if you have been living under a rock ... on Mars ... with wax in your ears ... singing "I'm not listening, I'm not listening, la la la."
First off, there was the whole debacle over the late Anna Nicole Smith. I will admit that when I heard she died, I was not exactly grief-stricken. I was expecting a few digs from late night comedians (the price you pay for living the life of a gluttonous gold digger) and then she would be laid to rest in the annals of shameful pop culture lore.
What we got was far more absurd. Her body (her dead, rotting corpse) was tied up in a bloody battle over the next two weeks. The issue has been drawing more eyes than the best picture winner. In fact, last Friday's New York Post had a cover that read "And the Body Goes To ..."
Then, of course, concurrently running with this fiasco was the latest installment of everyone's favorite serial, "As the Spears Turns." Within the past week or so, our loveable little Britney has drawn attention for excessive partying, checking herself into rehab not once, not twice, but three times, and deciding that Natalie Portman really had it going on in "V for Vendetta" (2006).
As I sit here, in my calm little suburban collegiate life that I live, I can only wonder two things: A) "what are these people thinking?" and B) "what does it say about us (myself included) that we are following this?"
Let's start with A. On one hand, I know what you are probably thinking. "They're rich. They're famous. They live in another world. They're unhappy. They can't help themselves. It is something we can't understand."
And so on and so forth. But, when I saw the picture of Britney Spears looking like she was about to enter a costume contest as Professor X, I couldn't help but wonder, "Dear God ... she must have known that this was going to be in every tabloid as she was doing this. She must have a few brain cells remaining to foresee herself as the butt of Conan's, Letterman's, and 'Saturday Night Live''s punch lines. Why doesn't she stop herself?"
I mean, checking into rehab is commendable. Checking out and then checking in again is understandable, I suppose. Doing it thrice, shaving your head and getting some tattoos while you're at it is just asking for ridicule.
Sometimes I think that the only way that all of this could possibly be actually going on is if it is all scripted. Britney Spears cannot truly be a real person (and I don't just mean the cosmetic surgery). One day, a bunch of writers are going to pop up from behind her and shout "Surprise!" Then she'll take off a mask, and they'll all have a good laugh for having us so totally "Punk'd." Yes, I know that isn't the most likely of scenarios, but think back on the life of Britney Spears. My explanation is at least slightly more believable than reality.
And now, B. Despite the last paragraph, I am still pretty sure that Britney and Anna are/were real people with real thoughts and feelings and families. And yet, for some reason, we find ourselves inexplicably drawn to every time their lives get progressively worse. When do we hit the point where it goes from simply "Ha ha, look what those dumb blondes are up to now" and heads towards "Wow, these people are seriously ruining their lives and the lives of those around them?"
To be honest, I do not know where that point is. For some people, it never comes. No matter whatever happens to celebrities, they are amused, because the stuff is not happening to anyone around them. It only provides a beautiful escape from their lives and the issues that do matter.
But at the same time, I cannot get over what is actually running through some of these people's heads. Britney Spears has had a messy divorce, is in rehab and is terribly troubled - yet no one feels bad for her. People laugh as they say that Anna Nicole's kid will be forever messed up. Yes, these celebrities are rich, selfish and rather vacuous, but what does it say about us that we are so fascinated by them - especially when they are down? I honestly don't know.
