Lost in the Valentine's Day roses and romance is the subtle yet significant revelation that more Tufts students, especially women, are waiting until "later" to tie the knot. And, according to a report from The New York Times released in January, while they are single, they certainly aren't alone; roughly 51 percent of women are single, or living without a husband.
The notion of "later" is complex. When women choose to delay marriage, is this really a result of the pressure they may feel to delay children? By and large, women remain the primary caregivers of children in our society, so do women wait to start families because they feel that once they do their career must plateau?
Ultimately, if women wait to marry and have children, does this mean that traditional roles have changed, or that they simply manifest themselves "later"? There's nothing necessarily wrong with waiting, but this delay does raise some interesting questions about whether or not marriage and a career are mutually exclusive, especially for women. The fact that women may face this situation is reason to reevaluate female gender roles in modern times. Many women, here at Tufts and in greater society, have come to see marriage and children as a considerable limitation when it comes to pursuing personal goals.
For our generation, the timeline is clear: Get a job now, rise in the ranks, and then delay marriage until that distant time of "later." But is there really any effective difference between now and later?
Though women may choose to wait to marry once they've established their careers, it seems unlikely that a successful career woman would have more time "later" to marry and have children once her career was established than she would before climbing the corporate ladder. If responsibilities rise with experience, one has to question if the challenge of a new marriage and family would be any easier "later" - presumably as one's workload rises.
If working parents aren't given support by their employers - through paid maternity leave, flexible scheduling, child care referral and the like - there must be sacrifice by someone.
If the family is a core tenet in our system of values, workplaces should adapt their policies to meet the needs of women and men who might want to balance a full-time career and family life. Reconciling women's changing social views and roles with political and economic realities is a silent challenge that must be addressed.
While there are many women across the country, and even some on the hill who may never face this decision, more women are finding themselves at this difficult crossroads.
Family and career should not be mutually exclusive; it seems that women, despite our staggering advances in gender equality, still find themselves with a fork in the road, though it may just occur later than it did only a generation ago.
