I was recently perusing a list of NBA arrests online (because that's the kind of thing I do in my free time).
The laundry list led me to two unavoidable conclusions: NBA players smoke weed like they are at a Wu-Tang Concert in Amsterdam, and they carry firearms like they're mounting an offensive on Fallujah.
I also couldn't help but notice the reoccurrence of several familiar names, which caused me to ponder, "Who are the league's most notorious players?"
So without further ado, here are the four most infamous players in recent NBA history and one throwback screw-up.
4) Vernon Maxwell. This column has limited space, so I'll just give you the highlights. Arraigned on a weapons charge in 1994. Ran into the stands to beat the bag out of a heckler in 1995. Ordered to pay $592,000 in 1997 for knowingly infecting a woman with herpes. (To no one's surprise, Vernon didn't show for the court date.)
Arrested as a fugitive in Washington State after a warrant for his arrest was issued in Florida for his lack of attendance at another court date. And, of course, an obligatory drug charge in 2007, which violated his probation.
"Mad Max" indeed.
3) Dennis Rodman. How could this list be complete without The Worm? Rodman terrified Middle America with his hair-dying, cross-dressing, face-piercing, rebound-ripping act throughout the '90s.
Dennis the Menace's pension for booze, partying and women are well-documented. His 40th birthday alone drew four separate citations from police. Add charges of battery and obstruction of justice to the list, and Rodman's infamous r?©sum?© is cemented.
2) Ron Artest. The fact that Artest is insane already qualifies him for this list. Remember, this is a man who worked at K-Mart one offseason to stay humble.
And of course, we all know about the Malice at the Palace. I can honestly say I've never seen anyone as scared as that guy Artest initially came after. His face as he watched Artest approach was priceless, like watching Wile E. Coyote's face when he realizes he can't walk on air.
I don't blame the guy; Artest is a product of the notorious Queensbridge projects in New York City and one of the angrier individuals in the NBA.
The bad boy credentials are numerous for Ron: a plethora of flagrant fouls, a domestic violence charge for slapping his girlfriend and even a Michael Vick-esque animal cruelty charge for neglecting his dogs.
1) Shawn Kemp. I'll let the numbers speak for themselves: one semiautomatic pistol, one count marijuana possession, two ounces of cocaine, seven kids by six women (that we know about) and 70 pounds gained in two years.
If we wait a little longer, maybe we'll have enough material to sing the Reign Man's own version of "The 12 Days of Christmas."
But my personal favorite bad boy was ABA and NBA legend Marvin "Bad News" Barnes, who once admitted to snorting cocaine on the Celtics' bench at the end of his career. Years later, the drug-addicted 6'9" Barnes inconspicuously robbed a liquor store wearing his own jersey.
But in his heyday, "Bad News" made it cool to be bad.
Barnes was told one time that his team's flight would be departing Louisville at 8 a.m. and arriving in St. Louis at 7:59 a.m. Unable to grasp the concept of time zones, Barnes refused to get on the plane, muttering, "I ain't getting on no time machine."
Danny Jospeh is a sophomore majoring in English. You can reach him at Daniel.Joseph@tufts.edu.
