As you have probably guessed, I'm a man who puts a lot of effort and passion into his pet peeves. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that one of the things that irks me most is when people foster disingenuous hatred. These people despise not because a tremendous inferno burns within their soul but as a show and means of social integration. Should I be clearer? Let me give an example: Hipster Haters.
Ninety-eight percent of all Hipster Haters don't really hate hipsters. They have no truly personal stake in whether or not hipsters flourish or disappear. If you question them on why they hate hipsters, you'll receive a circular answer including the phrase "dirty, dirty hipsters." Hygiene aside, why do they hate them?
It's simple. They like the thrill of hating something, of going into a feverish (well, in actuality, they may sweat and go red, but there is no true fever) rant about "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" (2008) at the slightest provocation. However, they lack the creativity to actually think of their own original criticism. (I consider my "Dark Knight" (2008) monologue to be the David of rants for the time and effort I put into it.) Furthermore, they may be afraid of actually offending or annoying someone with their words. Nobody would ever jump to Nick and Norah's defense, and a hater will never have to worry about getting into an argument or screwing up a date by sharing his or her complaints.
Hipster Haters' pet peeve is as "South Park" as they come: tired, well-worn and saying nothing that hasn't been said by hundreds of people more clever than the current speaker. (I can already see people jumping to the show's defense as I wrote that last sentence.)
And let us not forget the irony, in the case of these Hipster Haters, that hating hipsters is probably the most fashionable thing to do at the moment. You could almost say it's very ... hipster.
Of course, this is not to say that everyone who hates (for another example) "Juno" (2007) is in that 98 percent of false haters. While there are countless people who criticize the film's dialogue (many of whom first liked the movie before they realized that was a serious faux pas), there is still the two percent who actually hated the movie. One friend of mine has a more ideological complaint with the film and how it affects the identity of "independent movies" (i.e. giving people the illusion of seeing "indie cinema" without forcing them go out and really see indie cinema). While I still like "Juno," his hatred is an honorable one and not just a means of assimilation. Now you just have to look inside yourself and ask yourself whether you're a two-percenter or a 98-percenter.
Furthermore, allow me to clarify that this does not only apply to hipsters. This rant also includes people who have the following as major beefs: the aliens or the refrigerator scene in Indiana Jones, "Hey There Delilah," "American Dad," Shia LaBeouf (which I'll accept if your hatred of him is merely a bullet point in a larger complaint against "Transformers" (2007)) and just about any sports rivalry. Oh, and let us not forget the people who say they like all types of music except for country except for Johnny Cash.
To clarify for the people who often ask me how I think of ideas for my column: I don't. I simply let the complaints flow out of me and eventually decide to put them to print. So please, next time you try to force out a querulous cry: don't. If it comes, it comes. If not, it was never meant to be.
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Devin Toohey is a senior majoring in classics. He can be reached at Devin.Toohey@tufts.edu.
