I know very little about Minnesota.
I know that Minnesota was admitted to the Union in May of 1858 as the 32nd state, and its name is derived from the Dakota Indian word meaning "sky−tinted water," an origin that is reflected in the state's motto, "Land of 10,000 Lakes." I know that Minnesotans have a distinct way of speaking. I know that those from Minneapolis think that they're better than those from St. Paul. I know that it is very, very cold in Minnesota.
All of this I learned from a few Minnesotan friends and from Wikipedia.com.
From personal experience, I know that there are a lot of Minnesotans in Europe. This is weird because no one in the United States is from Minnesota. Well, almost no one: Though Minnesota comes in as the 12th largest state in the United States, its population comprises a mere 1.5 percent of the total population of the nation.
Oh, and I know one more thing: All children in Minnesota are racial profilers.
Children in Minnesota, just like children everywhere else in the world, play games for socialization, recreation and edification. One of the most popular games played by children worldwide is "Duck, Duck, Goose." This game involves sitting in a circle and having one person walk around the circle patting each player on the head naming him or her either "Duck" or "Goose." The Ducks simply get to sit and wait for a Goose to be named. When someone is named Goose, he has to get up and chase the namer. If the namer gets back to the Goose's seat before he is caught by the Goose, the Goose is the new namer. If not, play continues as before until there is a new namer, ad nauseam.
"Duck, Duck, Goose" is a silly game but it teaches children to pay attention and run quickly. In Minnesota, however, the nefarious element of racism is added to this quintessential children's game. Rather than "Duck, Duck, Goose," children in Minnesota play "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck."
I am not even making this up.
While "Duck, Duck, Goose" is a bit racialized as is, changing the foundation from "Animal, Animal, Different Animal Altogether" to "Animal, Animal, Different Color of the Same Animal" just hits too close to home. If home were a racist.
What if the game were "American, American, Minnesotan?" They probably wouldn't like that one bit.
Battle lines have been drawn and the debate has been raged (and researched), and it seems as though Minnesota is the only bizarro−Twilight Zone where this beloved game has been so deeply perverted. There really isn't anything wrong with "Duck, Duck, Goose" but there is something deeply disturbing about "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck."
I don't mean any offense to Minnesotans, but I can't, for the life of me, think of any reason that "Gray Duck" is preferable to "Goose" — they even start with the same letter!
After the election of Barack Obama, we were told that we were living in a post−racial world. Since that historic election, events have proved, time and again, that we don't actually live in this ideal world yet, although we are getting much closer.
Minnesota's population is a tapestry of ethnicities: Scandinavians, Native Americans, Africans, Latin Americans and Asians live in unity, all tolerating the frigid winters together (most likely too bundled up for racial differences to matter), all enjoying lovely summers at scenic lakes (one lake per 500 people, give or take) together.
They love each other, so why do they have to pick on the gray ducks?
Duck, Duck, Gray Duck: 0 out of 5 stars
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Mitchell Geller is a junior majoring in psychology and English. He can be reached at Mitchell.Geller@tufts.edu.
