Halloween: When you're little, it's all about candy. My friends and I would trick-or-treat for hours, rush home and have a huge trade to balance out ratios of Reese's, Kit Kats and Almond Joys. In high school, Halloween started to become a little crazier — there was still candy, but there were also more suggestive costumes and some underlying tones of vulgarity. However, not until I reached college did obnoxious costumes reach their pinnacle. Fraternity parties and house crawls are plagued by girls and guys dressed to impress in extensive costumes or very little fabric at all — the latter primarily applying to girls. Of course, candy is always delicious and the ratio between chocolate, peanut butter and coconut never stops being important, but there are some rules that can maintain the sanctity of this American tradition while one is in college.
1. At least do slutty well. There are always those girls that you pass, wondering why exactly they chose to dress like they did. If you can't pull off the slutty look, keep with the funny or classy: Spunky can get attention, too! Sometimes, the slutty bank robber costume actually does turn out just the right amount of classy, but it's a delicate balance. Also, any fashion malfunctions with barely there fabric can make EC 5 on Monday unbearably awkward. Janet Jackson's stunt at the Superbowl may have gotten her a lot of publicity, but here in college, a blooper in a basement will likely only be embarrassing — especially if you don't notice. Use fashion tape and dress securely, or just wear a costume that fits.
2. Try to be creative. Options are limitless! For guys, age-old classics like Mario and Luigi are always funny, but plenty of goofy and non-flattering costumes are reserved just for you. There are certain costumes and shapes that girls will likely never wear and of which you can take full advantage; sure, women get to be French maids, but you guys can dress up as Tequila bottles, tissue boxes or priests, oh my! Girls also have an abundance of opportunities and are able to dress up as pretty much anything with a basic outfit and the right props. Basically, everyone should know that a funny costume idea will make any Halloween memorable.
3. Enjoy the irony. I believe Halloween is the only time I've seen a stumbling, drunken Pooh Bear or watched Sarah Palin grind with Obama. Yes, I realize it's what's on the inside that counts and all that, but on this one specific night, do take in the hilarity of the exterior. Eight Harry Potters walk-of-shaming home Saturday morning? It's just too funny not to acknowledge. Although it can be embarrassing if you're on the other side, revel in the fact that you're entertaining us all. It can be dark in parties and some of these fruitful combinations can go unnoticed, but they can be great, so keep your eyes peeled.
Halloween is a great weekend. In college, it's a holiday that calls for an event-stuffed Thursday to Sunday without all the expectations and inevitable let-downs of New Year's Eve. Everyone's out looking to have a good time, and even the authorities understand its sacredness and tend to go easier on people. Just remember to try to keep it classy and fitted, creative and festive. Halloween parties in college are great: a chance to dress up in something crazy/slutty/silly just because you can. They're probably the most traditionally non-wholesome way to celebrate the autumnal equinox. In my book, though, you're never too old to stuff yourself sick with candy — it's still arguably the best part of the day.
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Anna Christian is a junior majoring in psychology. She can be reached at Anna.Christian@tufts.edu.
