Last week, my proposed ban on "gay-friendly" housing weaved its way into the fabric of public discourse at Tufts. The response was a heated but encouraging one. As evidence, look no further than the slew of comments on the online version of the column. Last night, the Queer Straight Alliance even hosted an event to discuss my ban. Despite this enthusiasm, I recognize the immense difficulty in reshaping institutional constructs; look no further than the Office of Residential Life's special housing option descriptions. The Rainbow House remains the sole provider of "gay-friendly" atmospheres.
With the difficulty in challenging the herd via institutional amendments, I return to my readers with a more fun, less controversial, grass-roots cause based on conservation.
They come in benign pairs attached to many of your upper body garments, and sometimes they serve no purpose other than to conceal what is natural. They are as commonplace as they are superfluous. The witches of this week's hunt are sleeves.
Sleeves are tubular coverings for human arms. Long sleeves provide warmth, while short sleeves provide only an unnecessary weight on one's limbs. Traditional style no longer dictates that sleeves be worn in order to appear fashionable, while the efficient cocktail of indoor heating units and heat-trapping outerwear ensures every individual the right to go about one's day sans sleeves. Avert the threat of farmer's tan, conserve fabric and revert to a more simple time, instantly accomplished by removing the sleeves from your short-sleeve shirts. What could be easier?
Before I get too caught up in the physical benefits of "going sleeveless," I'd like to take some time to point out the immense trendiness of this ban. If this column can ever inspire a real banning, it needs to be socially attractive. That's what was holding previous bans back. For example, it's no secret that knee-length skirts became ubiquitous and fashionable during World War II when the fabric conservation was necessitated by the war effort. So, too, should the sleeveless trend come about in this post-recession era where values such as thrift and modesty reign supreme. Participants should be willing to parade around sleeveless, host sleeve burnings and dedicate their profile pictures to anti-sleeve propaganda. Doing so will ensure emulation by those in the student body who are out of touch with current events and styles (engineers). This is where my proposed ban against the term "gay-friendly" originally faltered; it was too reminiscent of things that aren't cool: the Primary Source and satire and rejection of topics considered off limits for discussion. A ban on sleeves represents an oppositional paradigm.
This ban would unite us. With Tufts' recent plunge into ultimate "bro-dom" after capturing the men's lacrosse NCAA Div. III championship last spring, the student body needs a way to connect with our newly discovered identity. By re-branding the "sleeveless" style into a quasi-hippy pursuit, we'd align two polarized campus subcultures: hippies and lacrosse bros. This alliance would send ripples into the surrounding Tufts social scene, proving that even the most opposite of cliques could put aside differences in order to achieve social justice.
This emboldened class of bros will have the final say as to whether or not hippies can ever be "bros." Perhaps an arbitration conference could be set up his week in the Mayer Campus Center where both parties could reach an agreement. Hippies could offer teams a newer, broader fan base to support their efforts, while in return, bros could aid hippies in cultivating ultra-feathery flow and undeniable charisma.
The first chance for this coalition to come together will be tomorrow night in Barnum 008, with the screening of senior Arlin Ladue's landmark documentary "Road to the Championship." The hipster/hippy/nerdy film crowd will converge the laxtitute/lax fan/lax bro/athlete crowds in what I hope to be only the first date in what looks to be a unifying courtship.
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CJ Saraceno is a senior majoring in political science. He can be reached at Christopher.Saraceno@tufts.edu
