As recent years have shown, it's not too difficult to anger the family-friendly mobs that inevitably gather for the Super Bowl. Public nudity and now M.I.A.'s middle finger have both taken center stage in offending sports fanatics all across Amurrica. But how else could one, you know, annoy a crowd?
10.) Nickelback covers Creed: Because it takes absolutely nobody higher when they remind us of anything.
9.) Expose Janet Jackson's other boob: This time, no pasties.
8.) Nicholas Cage does the coin toss: As if "Season of the Witch" (2011) wasn't insult enough.
7.) Have the Patriots lose: That would never happen...
6.) Have the Patriots win: Nobody wants to see a happy Masshole.
5.) Kanye West interrupts "The Star Spangled Banner": Kelly Clarkson, Imma let you finish, but my "Stronger" was the best of all time.
4.) No advertisements: Except maybe a Go Daddy commercial.
3.) Musical tribute to "The Human Centipede" (2009): It's still not as gross as Nickelback.
2.) Have all the players wear Uggs: Not even spokesman Tom Brady pulls them off.
1. Hire a Mexican soccer announcer: This would be especially bad if the Super Bowl were in Arizona.
--
compiled by the Daily Arts Department
