When talking about fan-celebrity culture, K-pop fans, particularly the “ARMY” (BTS’s fanbase), do not have the best reputation online. Many of them would go to great lengths online for their favorite group or idols. However, it is also a norm within that culture for K-pop idols to appear ‘single’ for their fans. So when they get caught being in a relationship, scandal ensues. As a long-time participant in these fanbases, I wanted to use EXO’s Chen’s cancellation to highlight this phenomenon and what it says about parasocial relationships, because obsessive fan behavior is not exclusive to K-pop, especially when we live in a loneliness epidemic where people are desperate to seek out any form of attachment, even with someone on a screen.
Back in 2020, singer Chen from EXO, an extremely popular boy band in South Korea, announced with a handwritten letter that he would be marrying his long-time non-celebrity girlfriend. He also hinted at their pregnancy. “I have a girlfriend, with whom I want to share the rest of my life,” he states in the letter.
The message was very sweet and clearly a hard decision to make at the time, especially since it was made shortly before Chen enlisted in the mandatory military service. However, his announcement was met not just with online debates, but also with protests outside his company’s building, aimed at pressuring the band to kick him out. One of the fans who participated in the protest stated, “I think Chen owes us an apology.” She continued: “He should feel sorry for his fans, who have devoted their time and money to EXO. Disappointingly, he did not utter a single word to express he’s sorry in the letter.”
Even within the fandom, the overall view of idols being in relationships has been changing, especially with the growing inclusion of international fans, as hashtags such as “Chen Stays,” in support of Chen, trended on social media. Nevertheless, it is very hard to ignore the vocal minority that is opposed to this.
To many who are unfamiliar with K-pop culture, this reaction would seem extreme and outright ridiculous. However, fan service is a huge part of the industry, from one-to-one paid video calls with your favorite idol to Bubble, a private messaging subscription app that makes fans feel like they are receiving private texts from celebrities. It would surprise many to see that, apart from the music, a major part of the culture is selling intimacy to fans.
Yet while the K-pop system itself encourages this kind of fan participation, it is still bizarre to see adult fans behave with such entitlement. Chen’s controversy is not an exception, but the norm. When Chen’s fellow band member Baekhyun was discovered to have been in a relationship with another idol years before Chen, he was forced to apologize and faced similar harsh treatment from fans. Just last December, Jungkook from BTS was rumored to be in a relationship with another idol. Despite being only speculation, this angered some fans, who staged a protest truck demonstration in front of HYBE’s headquarters in Seoul, including phrases such as “Are you in your right mind deceiving fans and harming the group?” and “ARMY waited for you during the military, and this is what we get in return.”
Clearly, these extreme responses stem from a sense of entitlement that these fans seem to have over their favorite celebrities. So when reality hits, these fans feel betrayed, especially when all the corporate fan service catered to an idea of exclusivity to them. Maybe it’s easy to label this as a K-pop problem, but just 10 years ago, “The Voice” singer Christina Grimmie was shot by an obsessed fan at an autograph signing in the United States.
Maybe it’s easy to detach ourselves from such an extreme scenario, but this unhealthy mentality certainly started somewhere. We really need to find a way to draw the lines. Just because the relationship is parasocial doesn’t make it inconsequential, not just for their sake but also for ours.
