Often we get ourselves categorized into little groups based on our race, sexual orientation, the state or country we come from, who our friends are, and various other categories. These categories supposedly define who we are to others (and sometimes to ourselves, as well). What happens then, when you have someone that fits into conflicting categories?
I use myself as an example. I am the culture representative for the Tufts Transgendered, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Collective (TTLGBC), but I am also a sister in Alpha Omicron Pi (AOPi). Is this a conflict of interest? So often the Greek system gets a bad rap for being homophobic. I am not denying that hate crimes have occurred within the Greek system, but we then stereotype all Greeks as being against the LGBT community.
My sorority has been very supportive of my sexuality. I am able to talk about it in the open. One of my sisters once told me, "you could do so much better than her" when I was upset after learning that my crush was straight, and even had our fall semi-formal coordinator look for a girl to set me up with. I can discuss my ex-boyfriend and my female crushes and no one wonders which gender I'm really attracted to. My sexuality has never been an issue when running for a leadership position, and people don't cover themselves when changing just because I'm in the room.
Another thing that people usually can't tell is that I'm also half Cuban. I have heard people refer to the three Panhellenic sororities as the "white sororities," and have heard that some members of cultural communities do not want to join the Greek system because of this. My house has sisters of white, Asian, black, Latina, and West Indian backgrounds and sisters who were born outside the US. I am involved in the cultural communities at Tufts, as are other sisters in my house.
It can be difficult when people first find out that I am both a member of a sorority and a member of the LGBT community. The stereotype about all members of the Greek system is that we are straight, and not receptive to the members of the LGBT community, if not homophobic. The stereotype of the LGBT community, among other things, is that we hate the Greek community. There is also a misperception that our sole reason for being on campus is to be radical activists. We do have to go to classes, and we do work just the same as other students on this campus. You'd actually be surprised how many members of the LGBT community are in your classes, where you assume everyone's straight.
With these two conflicting stereotypes, how is there room for a person such as myself, a member of both communities? It's simple. We are not bound by the walls of our stereotypes. We are individuals.
I attended the Safe Colleges Conference, a conference addressing LGBT issues, at the beginning of this month (which was excellent and I highly recommend that everyone attend it next year regardless of their sexuality.) Our keynote speaker was a Puerto-Rican lesbian who spoke about belonging to two different worlds. She mentioned how people ask her which community she identifies with first, the Puerto-Rican community or the gay community, not understanding that she is a member of both.
So many people on this campus are afraid to be a part of anything where people are not exactly like them. I have to admit, I was a little worried about going to a Pan-African Alliance (PAA) meeting because when people see me, many see a white, straight girl. If I am wearing my house letters, people often form stereotypes about me before I even open my mouth. It turned out that people were incredibly welcoming to me at the PAA meeting, and I was not the only person there who wasn't black. I have been to several Asian Community at Tufts meetings, and my voice counts the same as anyone else's. And yes, straight people regularly attend TTLGBC meetings.
If people would see others on this campus as individuals rather than fitting into categories, student relations would be a lot better. How often do you not get to know someone just because of a category that he or she fits into? Being bisexual, I see the people I am attracted to as individuals, and don't restrict myself to saying that I cannot be attracted to someone because of his or her gender.
If more people on this campus looked at their fellow students as individuals rather than as categories, the relations between students would be a lot better. How often do you not sit with people you know because they are at a table with people of their own race? How often have you changed your opinion of someone after you found out their race, sexual orientation, or that he or she spoke with an accent? Did you think someone was failing their classes because they were a jock, or that the sorority girl down the hall had nothing better to think about than partying and chasing boys? We are all in classes together, we all worry about getting the grades, we all have families, we all have had our hearts broken, and we all will die someday.
Even as I write, I am sure that some of you will see this Viewpoint and think that I am nothing but a girl who has issues and is writing to feel better about herself. What I am hoping to accomplish with this Viewpoint is to make some of you aware of your own stereotypes, because we all have them about something. If there are members of a community that think they can't join the Greek system because of their tie to that community, I want to remove that thought.
So my message to you is this. See others as individuals, because there is something about them that does not fit the stereotype you have of them. Rush a Greek house in the fall and see for yourself how we are individuals and accept each other for who we are. Attend a cultural event, sit with those not of your race, support and fight for issues not your own. For those within a community, so often we fight for our own issues that we forget the issues of others. Get involved with other groups, remember that not everyone is against you, and most importantly, listen. It's amazing what you can learn.
Angel Vail is a junior majoring in biology and child development. She is the TTLGBC culture representative to TCU Senate and a sister in AOPi.
