When I first returned home for winter break, everything seemed different. I had grown accustomed to my life here at Tufts, a life quite different from that which I had left behind in August.
Sometime over the break, I was sitting in a Japanese restaurant with my best friend Phil, discussing our college experiences. The conversation inevitably changed course as we began to rationalize the decision to pledge a fraternity. I came to the conclusion that the determining factors in a student's decision to pledge vary from college to college and from person to person. Coincidentally, Phil and I virtually share the same rationale. Therefore, any discrepancies in our decisions to pledge were influenced by our diverse environments.
At Phil's school (SUNY Buffalo) fraternity life is much like the life we left behind on Long Island. That is, social obligations become the brother's first priority, while academic responsibilities are essentially neglected. For my friend, a student struggling to meet the pre-med requirements at SUNY Buffalo, a decision to pledge could bring a definite end to his dream of becoming a doctor. Don't get me wrong, fraternity life seems like a lot of fun. As Phil always says, "Chicks dig the whole frat thing." But a decision to pledge will have both its benefits and its costs.
Then there's Suzzie. Phil and Suzzie recently met in college and have since fallen in love. Neither one of them would intentionally risk jeopardizing their relationship, but should Phil decide to pledge a fraternity, he might very well lose his love. Phil fears that the fraternity could come between them and that he might lose sight of his first true love.
Now I must decide: pledge, or live the next three years of my life much like the first. Thus far, my college experience has been a lot of fun. I balance my schedule so that I have enough time to both work and play. I've been to multiple fraternity parties, and frequently spend my evenings on Lansdowne Street. I have already developed a close group of friends here, and they will have a significant influence in my upcoming decision.
Since I've been at Tufts, I have observed that fraternity life can be a significant asset to one's social life, but it is not essential. Specifically, my closest senior friend here at Tufts was in a similar position his freshman year. While his closest companions are now all brothers in the same fraternity, my friend concluded that the costs of pledging a frat exceeded its benefits. "Do you have any regrets?" I once asked him. His reply was something to the effect of, "I don't regret missing out on the whole pledging experience. I have kept the same group of friends I had my freshman year. Though I'll never be able to reminisce about 'my years at the frat,' I assure you that I will leave Tufts without regretting my decision not to pledge."
As I continue rationalizing the decision to pledge a fraternity, I must take into account the influence of my Tufts peers. Though I converse with numerous acquaintances in college, I basically spend my weekends with the same group of people. The guys in this crowd are already pretty much set on pledging the same fraternity together. I think their decision became final sometime over the break.
I cannot disregard the most obvious "costs" of pledging. Although fraternities are forbidden to haze their pledges, the act pledging itself will not exactly be a walk in the park. I must also account for the opportunity cost of pledging, that is, my precious time. The time I will spend pledging is time that I won't spend studying. Ultimately, my grades could suffer, and that is one risk I wish I would not have to take.
So what have I decided? Well, I wish I could say I have come to a definite decision...but I haven't. I intend to wait until the week of Rush. Then I will decide whether or not I will be willing to endure the costs of pledging in order to reap the benefits of being a fraternity brother.
Daniel Adam is a freshman who has not yet declared a major.
