Tufts students will try everything from flirting at the frats to appearing on Jumbo Love Match to land boyfriends and girlfriends, but junior Melissa Ausman and sophomore Katie Symmes have more solidified plans for their romantic futures: they're both engaged to be married. Ausman shocked Harvard's entire student senate earlier this month when her then-boyfriend - now fianc?©e - concluded a routine Harvard Undergraduate Council meeting with a marriage proposal to his Jumbo girlfriend of three and a half years.
Harvard senior Justin Barkley prefaced his proposal with a touching speech about the support he received from friends on the council who had assisted him during his term as treasurer.
Ausman grew teary as she listened to Barkley recall various anecdotes about working with his friends, but was overcome with emotions when Justin began to talk about his supportive relationship with her.
"He made me come on stage. I was embarrassed because I was good friends with many of the council members," Ausman said. "Then he got on one knee and I knew what he was going to do. So, I really started crying."
The proposal was preceded by a reading of the country song, "Amazed," by Lonestar.
Ausman has the full support and congratulations of her parents in accepting Barkley's proposal. In fact, Barkley called Ausman's father earlier that day to ask for permission to propose. Ausman reports that her parents were her age when they got married, and Barkley's parents were younger. She suspects that both sets of parents expected marriage since she and Barkley had been together for so many years.
"I've talked about marriage with them before. They said that I've made good choices in the past, and they support my decision," Ausman said.
The couple has received support from their peers as well. Though many are in long-term relationships, none of Ausman's friends are engaged, and they are eager to see the first of their friends tie the knot.
"My friends are excited, especially about being in the wedding," Ausman said.
Ausman and Barkley's plans after their Aug. 10 wedding are still in the works. Barkley is planning on attending law school immediately after his graduation from Harvard, and Ausman hopes to graduate early through advanced standing, take a break, and then get a job.
"We'll live close to his law school, and that's where I'll be working," Ausman said. "We just want to be together."
Though the couple is younger than most newlyweds, Ausman does not question that the time is right for her to enter into this commitment, and adds that she and Barkley do not plan on starting a family for a few more years. While many young people can hardly imagine a life without "playing the field" during their college years, Ausman doesn't feel that she missed out by making this decision.
"I have plenty of guy friends, and I would date them if I wanted to. Justin has plenty of girl friends," she said. "I don't feel like I'll be missing out on anything."
Engaged sophomore Katie Symmes agrees. She met her fianc?©e, Sean Morris, when the two were working at a day camp in Danvers, MA - Symme's hometown. The couple has been together for almost two years. Twenty-eight-year-old Morris is an elementary school teacher during the winter.
"Honestly I don't think I'm missing anything by not being single at Tufts," she said. "It seems to me that a lot of people try to meet people and enter into relationships by first "hooking up" and then seeing if it goes anywhere from there. I just wouldn't be interested in that kind of method, and 'dating' on campus is not really all that prevalent."
Like Ausman, Symmes was surprised at Morris' proposal, but not at the idea of marrying him.
"I honestly didn't see it coming, which is why, I am sure, he proposed then," Symmes said. "We had talked about getting married but more in a casual way."
Symmes will be studying in Spain this spring, and had expected that she would be wearing an engagement ring by then.
"In the back of my mind I sort of thought that the proposal would have come some time this winter before I leave for Spain," Symmes said.
Being young and engaged has presented some challenges for Symmes. Her parents expressed some concern over such a serious commitment at a young age, even though Morris had gone to her house earlier that week to speak with them and "ask for permission."
"They have some fears about different things, about my being so young, most of which have been resolved and reassured. And then the regular parent concerns, like how they will pay for the wedding, which we still have some time to figure out," Symmes said.
Symmes and her fianc?©e have yet to set a date for their wedding, but have decided that will take place after Symmes graduates from Tufts. In the meantime, Symmes' friends remain excited and surprised about the future of their friend. Symmes believes that the idea that she was engaged was shocking to her friends because it made them see that they weren't far away from that type of decision themselves.
"I think for a lot of people our age all of these 'real world' issues - like marriage, careers, family - are on the brink of happening and that's kind of scary," Symmes said.
