The summer is over. The heat lingers, but the weather is inclement - it's the best time of the year to stay inside. Unfortunately, mediocre summer films linger in the theater, as well. So what's the solution? The answer lies in the following story...
I was over in the Harvard area after my classes had ended. Paranoia got the best of me as five o'clock neared, and I feared that all the stores would shut down soon. So I sped up my walk. I wasn't going anywhere in particular.
I pass this guy on Brattle Street who's about four-foot-nothing, and he grabs my arm. I stop and say, "Why are you holding my arm?" A fair enough question, I thought. And to me the little man says, "Slow down brother, you'll get there in time."
The moral of the story is that little people have really interesting things to say, and they also make great movie characters. Hold onto your cash for a few more days (good movies will be released in the coming weeks), rent these movies, and acknowledge the dynamic abilities of the stature impaired.
Rental Pick #1
Time Bandits
In Terry Gilliam's first non-Monty Python directing experience, a boy named Kevin helps a band of time traveling dwarves save the universe from a villain named Evil.
Kevin, who is obsessed with history facts, goes to bed one night and awakens to the sight of a knight on horseback bursting through his wardrobe. Kevin copes with his shattered reality until the following night when armed dwarves lay siege to his bedroom and take him hostage. These Time Bandits have stolen a mystical map of the universe from the Supreme Being and are using it to travel through time and filch from famous leaders at different points in history. In Kevin's journeys he meets up with historical linchpins such as Napoleon, Robin Hood and King Agamemnon. In addition to the Supreme Being hunting them down, Evil himself seeks out the map for his own diabolic plans.
Fellow Python-ites Michael Palin and John Cleese make appearances, as do Ralph Richardson and Sean Connery. David Rappaport stars as Randall the dwarf, and Craig Warnock plays the inquisitive Kevin. 110 minutes. Rated PG.
Rental Pick #2
The Bride Sting has his largest film role ever in the 1985 remake of Bride of Frankenstein. Forgetting that he's a musician, Sting continues to land roles in terrific films that include Dune, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. With Sting's name right there in the opening credits, you may even be able to convince your girlfriend to watch a film about carnival freaks and men who build women.
Baron Charles Frankenstein (Sting) lives alone in a big castle with his monster, Viktor. Viktor (Clancy Brown of Highlander, Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai) is your average reanimated dead person: slow on the draw, ugly, powerful, and naive to a fault. The macabre Baron decides to add one more to the family, and creates a bride for his monster. Eva the bride (Jennifer Beals of Flashdance) turns out to be very attractive for a reanimated corpse, and the Baron decides to keep her for himself. Disappointed at his loss, Viktor runs away from home and befriends Rinaldo the Midget (David Rappaport)
In Rinaldo, Viktor finds sympathy and protection from those who would otherwise abuse his simplicity. At the castle, Frankenstein attempts to acclimate his new "lady friend" to the lifestyle of high society. As Eva slowly becomes aware of who and what she really is, she longs for the company of someone who can truly understand her. A love triangle and murder ensue. 114 minutes. Rated PG-13.
Rental Pick #3
Willow
If you were born before 1988 and you haven't seen this movie, you need to put down the paper and rent it before someone finds out. A staple in '80s fantasy film, Willow sits alongside Legend and The Dark Crystal on the shelf of movies you know you loved as a kid, but may have since forgotten about.A child is born in the dungeons of the evil Queen Bavmorda. According to the prophecy, it is this child that will bring about the end of the Queen's reign. The baby princess is smuggled from the castle by a selfless midwife, but she is forced to abandon the child when the Queen's Hounds discover where she has gone. The child is sent adrift in a cradle, floating down the river to a village of dwarves, where dwarf Willow Ufgood (Warwick Davis) finds the child and vows to protect it. When the Hounds come for Willow, he finds himself on a quest of mammoth proportions.
With a little bit of magic and the reluctant help of the "master" swordsman Madmartigan (Val Kilmer), Willow battles his way through a perilous fantasy world to save the life of the child. Directed by Ron Howard. 130 minutes. Rated PG.
