Because my parents were never big on television (I was prohibited from watching anything that was not broadcast on public television), my family was one of the last to get cable. And they got the most basic package available - no frills, no movie channels, just the absolute basics. They insisted that their decision to (finally) have cable installed on the living room television was solely the result of not wanting to fiddle with the antenna anymore. It certainly wasn't because they wanted to let me watch more television - with the exception of a few programs on Nickelodeon (namely the infamous You Can't Do That on Television and Double Dare), my television restrictions remained.
The same, however, could not be said for my parents. According to my observations, the introduction of cable to our household led both my mother and father to watch more television. They insisted that they were not watching more television; rather, it was that they were spending less time fighting static and playing with the antenna, and more time watching the actual show.
But being the bright child that I was, there was no fooling me - especially when my parents decided to purchase additional premium channels. With HBO and Showtime in the house, there was no denying that there was a significant increase in the amount of time spent in front of the boob tube (except for me - I was still watching PBS and going to bed at 9 p.m.). Several years later, we had cable installed on a second television in the master bedroom upstairs - because, according to my mother, "It only costs a few dollars more!" And then came the most sweeping television change of all - with the allure surrounding the notion of digital cable, it was not long before it was installed not only in the living room but also upstairs.
We started off behind the times and now find ourselves at the top of the television technology totem pole.
Now whether or not the big black box that graces not one, but two rooms of my house with digital cable is a blessing or a curse, I have yet to decide. It's kind of like plastic surgery, or body piercing - once you start, it's pretty hard to stop. There's no denying the addiction factor when it comes to television - and the drastic change in my family's television habits is a testament to that.
But back to the wonders of digital cable - there are so many additional features to digital cable that make it such a pleasure to watch. Every time you flip to a channel, the name of the program, the time it started, and the time it will end flashes across the bottom of the television screen. More information about the program is available by pressing the "Info" button on the remote - a little blurb appears across the bottom of the screen telling you what the program is about, who is starring, who directed, how many stars it received, etc. Talk about snazzy.
Digital cable also eliminates the need for TV Guide. By pressing the convenient "Guide" button on the remote, an easily-navigated schedule of programming appears (while the show you are currently watching remains in the upper right-hand corner of the screen). You can also check when a movie or show will be airing again and browse programming according to channel. Again, you're dealing with some pretty nifty technology.
But then there's the remote. Granted, without the remote you wouldn't have access to all these clever features. But before you can take advantage of all the features, you have to master the remote - no easy task. For starters, this is no rinky-dinky remote - it measures roughly the length of my forearm. Furthermore, navigating the countless buttons and options requires a certain skill attained only through practice. Figuring out how to exit the programming schedule (which I eventually learned could be done simply by pressing the "Exit" button) and scrolling through a program description (there are two scrolling options - my sister informed that, when in doubt, use "Page Scroll") are just two of the important skills required for proper usage of the remote. But none of this comes easy - and being away at school means that I have to relearn all of these skills every time I come home. So much for a relaxing vacation.
Then there is the vast array of programming. Even the absolute, most basic digital cable package offers more television variety than I could have ever imagined. From cartoons to fashion to sports to health to music to...You get the point. You want it, you got it. And lots of it. Sometimes too much of it. We opted for one premium channel, which actually means we get seven. All we wanted was HBO (because it's nice to have a movie channel). But you can't just order HBO - you have to order all of the channel's siblings now (HBO 2, HBO Signature, HBO Family, HBO Comedy, HBO Zone, even HBO Latino, even though nobody in my house speaks Spanish). You would have so many movies to watch that you're actually unable to choose. Not true. Half the time, one channel is showing something sports-related (not like there aren't enough sports channels already), another is showing porn, another is showing some obscure black and white film, and another is in Spanish.
Which brings me to my next point about digital cable - some things never change. Despite having somewhere between 400 and 600 channels (you realize shortly after getting digital cable installed that it is futile to count on all the new channels you have acquired), sometimes there's still nothing on television. Hard as it may seem to believe, there remain times when you flip endlessly without coming across a single program that grabs your interest. I guess it's just the fundamental nature of television. The difference between not finding anything to watch on regular cable and not finding anything suitable on digital cable is the level of frustration that ensues - at least with basic cable you can blame it on the lack of channels. This, however, is not a viable explanation when you have digital cable. You don't have to be a genius to understand on a rational level that with over 400 channels of programming, there should be something to watch. It's that simple. And you can't help but be frustrated and annoyed.
So while I'm tempted at times to say "Thank goodness for digital cable," there's no denying the pitfalls of the new technology. I've learned a lot since we got it installed in my house (I could probably perform open heart surgery with my eyes closed by now, and thanks to the Style Network I know what to wear this season), but sometimes I long for the good old days when I had less than ten channels to choose from and was still entitled to complain when there wasn't anything good on television. Now I just have to grin and bear it. Because with so many channels, something good is bound to come on any minute...right?
