Do you believe that an obscure linebacker from Western Tennessee State is all that stands between your favorite team and the Super Bowl? Do you simulate games, even seasons, in Madden franchise mode because you can't wait to select non-existent collegiate football players in a fictitious draft? Do you know the 40 times and Wonderlic scores of people that have no idea who you are? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are a NFL Draft nerd. Join the club.
Like so many other football fans out there, once the NFL season ended I was left with a huge void in my life. Night after night, at work or at home, I began to pour over scouting reports and mock drafts. For the next several weeks I spent more time with Mel Kiper Jr. than I did with my mom. But Mom can't run a 4.4 40 or bench 225 lbs. 17 times like Donte' Stallworth.
After months of weeks and weeks of waiting my day finally came and Saturday at 11:30 a.m. I plopped down on my couch for a long day of television watching.
The opening picks of the first round went relatively according to form, with the expansion Houston Texans selecting "their quarterback of the future," David Carr out of Fresno State. The strong-armed "family man" with movie star good looks was everything that the Texans wanted and, as Carr paraded his 20-plus relatives onto the podium he flashed the smile of a 22-year-old on the verge of signing a 60 million dollar contract to play a game. I hate this man.
Things didn't really get interesting until Dallas came on the clock with the sixth pick in what amounted to be the most exciting moments of the six-hour marathon. As the final seconds of Dallas' allotted time ticked away, the Minnesota Vikings, scheduled to pick seventh, scrambled to leapfrog the Cowboys and select the player they coveted, North Carolina defensive tackle Ryan Sims. But when Viking officials ran up to hand in the card bearing Sims' name, they were told that Dallas had executed a trade with the Chiefs, who, as could be expected, snatched up Sims. In a really pathetic way, it was all very thrilling.
The Cincinnati Bengals continued their bid to replace the Los Angeles Clippers as the most abysmal franchise in pro sports when, in usual fashion, they neglected to address pressing needs and reached for Arizona State left tackle Levi Jones, confounding and infuriating their already paper-thin fan base. Jones was later seen crying in his Eloy, AZ, home, as he was previously expected to have a promising NFL career but will now go the way of past Bengal flops Dave Klingler, Kijana Carter, and Dan Wilkinson.
Both the Cowboys and the Raiders had uncharacteristically good drafts, proving that old, senile owners can still do the job as NFL executives. Jerry Jones and Al Davis, both traditionally terrible drafters, each pulled off a number of slick moves to secure their men: Oklahoma safety Roy Williams and Miami cornerback Phillip Buchanon respectively. In Jones' case, he continued to deal and ended the day with the draft's top safety, top guard (Andre Gurode), and arguably the top receiver (Antonio Bryant).
The Super Bowl champion New England Patriots also didn't do too bad for themselves, trading their first and third round picks to the Redskins to move up and select Colorado tight end Daniel Graham. Graham, a 6'3", 248-pound pass catching phenom can be expected to contribute immediately and should give third year quarterback Tom Brady another viable weapon.
Despite not having a position to play, Heisman trophy winning quarterback Eric Crouch was drafted by the St. Louis Rams in the third round. Mike Martz has said that Crouch will see time at running back, slot receiver, punt returner, and maybe even defensive back. Whatever position the undersized ex-quarterback assumes, he seems poised to continue the long standing tradition of former Heisman trophy winners that go on to do absolutely nothing in the NFL. Does the name Gino Toretta mean anything to you?
