99 bottles of beer on the wall

Lessons we learned on Friday night:

1. Do not get directions off Mapquest. It will leave you wandering through the Christian Science Park and wondering what on earth a Christian Scientist is.

2. If a bar takes over an hour to find, it better be pretty damn good when you get there.

3. No matter how good a beer is, if it costs over $10 for one bottle, it's just not worth it.

That being said, welcome to Bukowski, a hallway on the third floor of a parking lot off Bolyston Street _ contrary to Mapquest's opinion, near the Hynes Convention Center, not the Pru. Now that you know where it is (or rather, where it isn't), here's what it's like.

Bukowski is like The Burren but skinny and without the Irish music. The crowd was significantly less sketchy, as it is comprised of college students excited by their legal IDs and 20 year-olds too poor to hit up Pravda 116. The laid-back atmosphere and bluegrass music of the bar contrast sharply with the unconventional beer list and its prices that rival Tufts' tuition.

The bar's name comes from the writer Charles Bukowski, author of Barfly and a favorite of the owner. Passages of his writings are painted on the walls, and pictures of his ugly mug on the wall leave visitors wondering why anyone would name a bar after this guy. But props to the waitress for actually knowing who Bukowski is.

After taking an hour to read through the beer list, the high prices deterred us from ordering everything out of the ordinary. For those a little more adventurous (read: wealthy) than us, you can purchase a variety of European beers for the same price as a ticket to Europe. The first item on the menu _ the Lindeman's Peche from Belgium, a lambic that goes for $12.95 a glass _ is a must try, as you haven't lived until you've tried a lambic. And if you do, please let us know how it tastes and what exactly it is.

Other selections include the Delirium Nocturnum ($15.95 a bottle), the Schneider Aventinus Weizenbock ($8.25), and the La Chouffe Chouffe-Bock, a saison from Belgium that goes for $14.95 a glass _ but it's a worthy purchase, as the name will provide you with a night's worth of jokes (and perhaps a name for your next hairstyle).

Although it is nice to know that these beers were brewed in the winter months by the Belgium munchkin shepherds, the descriptions on the menu did little to tantalize our taste buds. We were, however, encouraged to fork over $6.95 for a Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout, which had a nice sweet flavor and full body, but was still not worth $6.95.

But do not despair, as Bukowski also offers a wide range of medium-price brews that you have actually heard of. It has your typical lager imports _ Heineken, Becks, and Fosters _ as well as some more unique brews like Negra Modelo, Lone Star, Magic Hat #9, and Sea Dog Wild Blueberry Wheat (one lush's personal favorite). The on-tap offerings were limited and did not cover the spectrum that most bars do. We were, however, quite taken by the Old Shipyard Pumpkin Ale on tap. It has a nice spicy flavor but did not taste too strongly like pumpkin.

Bukowski is famous for its hamburgers, which cost $1 until 8 p.m. Monday through Friday. We got there too late to try the discount price, but the kitchen is open until 1 a.m. The peanut butter burger is among the more creative items on the menu, which also features a variety of pub finger food like the White Trash Cheese Dip.

And while we're on the topic of cheese dip, we'd like to take a moment to reflect on the new machine in the Campus Center Commons that dispenses Nacho cheese leftover from the World War II rations. A nasty rumor has it that these machines, which have been dubbed the Patti Lee Klosinators, have also been placed in the dining halls. We are thankful we are upperclassmen and do not have meal plans.

Speaking of fermenting things, back to the beer. Bukowski is a cute little bar that is worth a visit if you are in the area. We do not, however, recommend making the trek all the way out there if you are looking for more excitement than just chilling in a bar drinking expensive beer.

Bukowski is not a hopping singles scene, and people mainly came there in groups to hang out. Though the place specializes in gourmet beer at import prices, no one seemed to be splurging for anything more than the standard brews and French fries.

Traveling lush challenge for next week: get drunk and try saying Bukowski ten times fast.