Ask Angie

Q: I want to have sex, but my girlfriend says she isn't ready. I don't want to pressure her. I'd really like to take our relationship to the next level, though. What should I, a poor horny teenaged boy, do? _Sex Starved



A: Whoa, down boy. This happens more frequently than you probably think. It's common in a relationship for one partner to feel ready to take a new step, and the other to feel the opposite. This is what you have to do: wait! If she's not ready, then you're right in not wanting to pressure her! I know you're curious, I know you're anxious, but you can't rush your girlfriend into this big step. If she wants to hold off, there's probably a reason. Maybe she's nervous about birth control options or sexually transmitted diseases. There's a lot more going into sex than we usually stop to think about. Have you talked to her about it honestly? I know it's hard to have "the talk" with anybody, but maybe her reasons for waiting will make you rethink your reasons for wanting to rush ahead. Be understanding and respectful, and maybe you'll come to a compromise. There's plenty of fun you can have without having sex _ the more you explore and get to know each others' bodies, the better prepared you'll be when the big day comes along.



Q: I have a friend who is really going through this depressive stage. I can't call her anymore because she's too sad to talk to, and she's totally irrational. She thinks she needs medicine because she's so out of it, but she won't get it because she thinks her parents will be sad if they find out she's not happy. What should I do? How can I convince her to get the help she needs? _Depressed about Depression



A: I'm sorry your friend seems to be having such a hard time, but it sounds

like she's dealing with a major case of depression. If this has been going on for a while, it's possible that she may do harm to herself if she thinks it's her only way out. The fact that she's "totally irrational," as you said, doesn't help either. She may appear alright, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Her parents would probably be more upset to know that she was making herself live so miserably if she doesn't tell them now. If you cut off all contact with her because she's just too much of a downer, you may throw her into an even deeper and more dangerous depression. Why don't you call her and tell her that you're worried about her? The fact that she thinks she needs medicine is good _ she knows there's something wrong. Maybe she needs a little nudge from you in the right direction. Otherwise, if you are getting desperate and you know her parents, you might give them a call and tell them not to be alarmed, but you feel like their daughter is in a bit of a rut. Ask if they'd be willing to help her out if she needed it. Even if they do get "sad" upon hearing this news, your friend's mental health is the most important thing in the long run, and their sadness will pass.