Defending trash's good name

There are so many good movies out there, and I love a good movie. There are the serious classics _ Casablanca and On The Waterfront being two often-cited films that more people need to watch. There are also the movies you grew up with, like Stand By Me and The Breakfast Club for many twentysomethings, and the more recent ones that you hope and expect to endure for years to come _ Fight Club, You Can Count On Me, High Fidelity. Of course everyone has their own idea as to what movies should fall into all of those categories.

This attitude overlooks a vital component of film, however _ a class, even an entire genre, that goes underrepresented at awards ceremonies and on film critics' lists; a type of movie that people are embarrassed to talk about and rarely admit to watching, let alone owning.

Get your mind out of the gutter, porno-boy. I'm talking about trash. Bad movies. Stupid or campy or ridiculous movies that no one wants to go to bat for, but that wipe the floor with some Oscar contenders at the box office. And it's about time that people stop being so holier-than-thou and embrace a little low-brow culture without having to apologize for it.

Don't pretend you don't know the movies I mean. Blue Crush: empowered women in bikinis engaged in pedantic, predictable drama with an unnecessary romance thrown in. Swimfan: another aquatic-related trashy number with an implausible affair (any other Shiri Appleby fans that couldn't fathom her devoted boyfriend cheating on her?) and an impossibly evil and insane sex-kitten villain. Bring It On: possibly the most brilliantly unnecessary piece of filmmaking ever, a shot-by-shot example of how to make an irrelevant movie.

Those are only three (and they're all pretty recent), but they're all winners. Absolutely brilliant, beautiful trash. I saw 'em. I liked 'em. I'm happy to talk about it. Buy Bring It On on DVD if you know what's good for you.

People have too much shame for their own good nowadays. Sure, I love tearing apart a movie analytically. Sure, I love seeing a film and being touched emotionally by something deft and heartfelt. But I'm willing to slum a little bit, too, and I'm willing to be proud of it... proud enough not to offer excuses, anyway.

Sometimes you're in the mood for something respectable, and sometimes you're in the mood for some presweetened fluff. I love fine food, but I love Star Wars: Episode II cereal, too. There's a place for everything in this big ol' crazy world, and watching something stupid doesn't make you stupid, no matter what your parents may have told you about Saturday cartoon binges.

Sure, if you stumble into Crossroads expecting high art, you're going to be disappointed. But what the hell were you expecting? If you pay any attention to the previews, reviews, ad campaigns, directors, and producers attached to a movie, you should know what you're getting yourself into when you go to see it. And so long as you go to see something "bad" with the knowledge that it's bad, you have nothing to lose (though repeated viewings of Crossroads may distort an otherwise-healthy male's sexual expectations beyond repair).

Now, there are some movies that are trash that didn't mean to be trash, and they're fine in my book, too. Fans of the original comic book might try to defend Blade as a misguided attempt at art, but I don't care. It's trash, and I love it. Two hours of Wesley Snipes _ one of Hollywood's essential badasses _ beating down on vampires? Try to top that. After all, vampires top the list of villains that it's okay to hate (much like the Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).

In fact, part of the reason we should all stop badmouthing trashy movies is because no matter how much you can mock a given film, someone out there loves it more than you could imagine. I bet I love a few movies that other people think are worthless, and it would be a lot safer for them if they'd just learn to keep their unappreciated mouths shut. Just try making a snide comment about Terminator 2: Judgment Day around me and see how much of your spleen is left when we're finished, you dumb bastard.

And no matter how bad a movie is, there's always something to appreciate. Maybe the vacuity of Bring It On doesn't appeal to you, but you have to admit that those cheerleaders pull off some crazy dance moves. Look for the good _ you don't have to like it yourself, but it might help you understand why someone else would.

These movies get made, and they bring in some hefty wads of cash, too, so someone must be seeing them. Lots of someones, in fact. And if one of those someones is you, stop being so self-conscious about it! If you expected something to be trashy and it was, revel in it. Take some pleasure from having watched something that other people might never dared to try, and let them worry about being respectable and intelligent for a little while. Sometimes a movie you thought would be pure tripe turns out to be... well, tripe. But if you learn to appreciate really good tripe, you'll open yourself up to another level of moviegoing.

Now go rent some trash.