Ask Angie

Q: Angie: A friend of mine recently came out of the closet, and

I am usually okay with things like that, but I think he's been hitting on me and likes me or something. I don't like him like that, and it's kind of making me uncomfortable. Should I tell him to back off? _ Worried



A: Well, first of all, don't flatter yourself. Often times this situation arises and suddenly people assume that because their friend prefers the same sex that they MUST be attracted to them. A lot of the time it's completely psychological. It looks like you've suddenly become sensitive to any little "signals" he may be giving off _ most likely nothing has changed since you first became buds. If he's really your friend, you'll have to adjust to this new turn of events. Homosexuality doesn't just happen overnight _ why should anything be so different than it used to be? If he's giving you really strong signals that are making you THAT uncomfortable, then do what anyone (straight, gay, other) would do in this situation _ sit them down, say you don't feel the same way, encounter a few days of awkwardness and then watch your friendship get much closer. That's all.

_ Angie



Q: I've been dating a girl for six months now. It's been going really well, except the only issue is that she's an orthodox Jew and I'm Catholic. She is really scared to tell her parents that we're together because she claims they'll be upset, and it really bothers me that she won't. Should I just put up with this or what? _ Catholic boy



A: You absolutely shouldn't "just put up with this". If this is a valuable relationship _ which it seems to be _ you need to take care of this. An important question to ask her is, "If you are unwilling to be honest about our relationship now, when will you be?" If she'll never let her family know about you, it can make you feel like she's embarrassed by you _ and that's really not cool. She's probably hesitant to tell them because they've been expecting her to end up with another Orthodox Jewish boy, and they may be disappointed or even forbid her from seeing you in that case. I know it's an intense topic for college, but talk to her about where you see your relationship going. She's going to have to tell them at some point _ unless, of course, you're planning on a Vegas wedding. You know, with Elvis as the minister . . .

_ Angie