A super Super Bowl Sunday

For the last two decades, Super Bowl Sunday has been as much about the events surrounding the game as the game itself. As Don Cheadle, in the recent wave of NFL Playoff commercials, might put it, they took the "Super Bowl" and made it the "Super Bowl." Attracting hundreds of millions of viewers each year, the spectacle features hours of pre-game filled with inane prognostication and the latest celebrities, followed by the excessive opening ceremonies. Super Bowl Sunday is the only event where spectators leave the television for food during the game, as the commercials are one of the biggest draws to the event. Almost as well-known as the advertisements is the half-time extravaganza featuring a plethora of artists, dancers, and fireworks. Here, The Tufts Daily grades the best and worst of the non-football aspects of Super Bowl Sunday.



Pre-game

Starting at 2 pm, ABC provided four full hours of pre-game programming, replete with promotions for Alias and Dragnet and overall irritating special features. One of the few highlights was the hilarious Jimmy Kimmel's "Farewell to Cable," during which the new late-night host interrupted cable programs such as Wolf Blitzer Reports and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

The musical medley featuring classic music star Santana alongside an entourage of today's newer stars, like Beyonce Knowles and Michelle Branch, was enjoyable, but the dancers spelling out Santana's name on the field was a bit much. It got worse with everyone's favorite Canadian, Celine Dion, singing God Bless America. Fortunately, America's country sweethearts the Dixie Chicks rendered a beautiful rendition of the national anthem, followed by a fly over from the SuperHornets of the Air Force.

Grade: C- (and that's just because the Dixie Chicks' closing was so delightful)



Commercials

Budweiser Horses and Football _ A clever and amusing takeoff on the ubiquitous instant replay during this season's NFL playoffs, Budweiser scored well with the first advertisement of the night. As the two teams of horses stood on the sidelines, an actual zebra (a common synonym for football referees) stood in the replay box. A great in-joke for football fans, and a successful ad overall. Grade: A-

Osbournes Pepsi Twist _ The Osbournes starred in this continuation of last year's advertisements for Pepsi Twist and Diet Pepsi Twist. In this star studded ad, Kelly and Jack Osbourne "unzip" and become Donny and Marie Osmond, much to the nightmarish shock of Ozzy. In his trademark state of consternation, Ozzy then screams his catchphrase, "SHAAARON!," only to wake up next to Carol Brady (Florence Henderson) from The Brady Bunch. A cute concept, but rehashing the same ad campaign as last year? Do something novel. Grade: B

FedEx Castaway Spoof _ In this self-flagellating commercial, a raggedy looking man (appearing strikingly similar to Tom Hanks in Castaway) delivers a package to a woman. He declares that he has been marooned on a deserted island for five years but was committed to delivering the package because, well, "he works for FedEx." She opens the package only to find a satellite phone, a GPS locator, a water purifier, and some seeds. The irony, as well as the expression of the delivery man's face, is priceless. 0A+

Jordan vs. Jordan _ In one of the more special effects-driven ads of the night, this Gatorade commercial features the Michael Jordan of now going one on one with His Airness, the Jordan of the early 90's. The sheer "How did they do that?" factor of this ad

steers this one to the top of the list. Grade: B+

Jackie Chan Tagless Shirts _ In a disappointing waste of talent, Jackie Chan stars in this spot for Hanes Tagless T-Shirts. How can someone make an ad featuring the greatest martial arts star of his generation, and not actually show any martial arts? While the product itself is ingenious, the ad is not. Grade: C-

Buffalo Stampede Levi's Jeans _ A few questions: 1) Why is there a stampede of buffalos trampling through a barren city? 2) Why are these two people not being trampled? 3) Who agreed to pay $3 million for this confusing and idiotic ad? Grade: D

Marijuana Leads to Pregnancy _ The most controversial advertisement was purchased by "The Anti-Drug"; it implied that since marijuana impairs judgment, if one uses the drug, she is likely to become pregnant. Undoubtedly, most pot users are not likely to be convinced by the ad to stop using. Last year's "Drug-Money-Supports-Terrorism," campaign was much more successful; trying scare tactics is a waste of money. Grade: D-

Reebok's Terry Tate _ The best commercial of the night came late in the game, as Office Linebacker Terry Tate made his debut in a spot for Reebok. In order to improve office productivity, the fictitious company Felcher and Sons hires Terry Tate to shape up the office dynamic. What follows is a series of hilarious clips showing Tate tackling fellow employees because they forgot to put cover sheets on their TPS reports, or were caught playing solitaire. The shock value was enough to make this ad the best of the group. Grade: A++



>Halftime Show

The AT&T Wireless Halftime Show started off with a terrific bang, as the fireworks exploded in the air and Shania Twain exploded on the stage with amazing energy. While singing "Man, I Feel like a Woman," Shania proved that she lives up to her ranking as one of FHM's 100 Sexiest Women. It was also good to see real artists on the stage, as opposed to two years ago when Britney and Justin pranced around to computer-generated sugary "music." The show also featured a broad variety of genres of music from the quasi-country of Shania to the alternative rock of Gwen Stefani and No Doubt. Enter aging pop star Sting to provide a nice duet with Stefani and the band. An overall sensational halftime show, but could have done without the skanked-out cheerleaders. In addition, last year's moving Sept. 11 tribute by U2 set a high standard to reach. This year came close. Grade: A-



>SNL

Following last year's successful halftime counter-programming (Playboy Bunny Fear Factor), Saturday Night Live hosted a special episode, that turned out to be one of the best offerings of competitive programming of the past few years. The highlight of the show was when Chris Kattan, made up to look like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, hovered over his "precious" Super Bowl Ring. Other high-quality sketches included a spoof of the aforementioned Don Cheadle promotions and a mock episode of Hardball with Chris Matthews featuring presidential hopefuls Al Sharpton and Joe Lieberman. Even Jimmy Fallon's performance of his original song couldn't ruin an otherwise perfect half hour of comedy. Grade: A+