Cousens 101: an exercise in exercising at Tufts

3:44 p.m.: Arrive at Cousen's Gym. Effortlessly walk past student immersed in 3 inch thick P-Chem text seated at dilapidated desk next to "ALL STUDENTS MUST PRESENT VALID TUFTS ID FOR ENTRANCE" sign.

3:45 p.m.: Walk up stairs towards "Lunder Fitness Center." Recognize several males who are constantly playing basketball. Question if they have classes. Anxiety builds as windows to gym approach. Glance into windows, anxiety abated. Notice gym is crowded but not quite afternoon rush.

3:46 p.m.: Walk to front desk. Hand ID to girl who was in your freshman Perspectives class. Smile because you don't remember her name. Sign in. Ask yourself "what's the point anyway?"

3:48 p.m.: Proceed to shelving. Wade through rainbow sea of Herve Chapelier, Longchamps, and Gucci bags. Place your stuff on floor next to sign that says "don't put your stuff here."

3:49 p.m.: Say "hi" to lacrosse player who you met last Sunday morning as he began his walk of shame from your house. Continue past bikes. Collision _ right funny bone comes into contact with bike as you attempt to walk opposite oncoming traffic. Elbow in pain.

3:51 p.m.: Advance to back wall towards elliptical trainer section. All machines are in use. Sorority event appears to be in progress. Begin to ask first person how much time remaining. Twenty-six minutes. Next_20 minutes. Number Three_7 minutes. Continue to see if you can do better. Number Four_ just got on. Number Five_someone waiting after her. Revert back to Number Three. Stake claims on Three.

3:52 p.m.: Retreat to mats. Mats at capacity. Wait for someone to relinquish position on mat.

3:54 p.m.: Attain mat position.

3:59 p.m.: Number Three dismounts machine. Subject retrieves six-pound Vogue.

4:00 p.m.: Climb machine. Set machine for 30 minutes. Frantically grasp for discman as "Jenny from the Block" reverberates through overhead speakers.

4:01 p.m.: Glance around gym. Notice that all treadmills and Stairmasters in use while multiple stationary bikes remain empty. Question University's purchases. Also ponder why treadmills are at front of gym. Take note weightlifters have ideal anterior view of runners.

4:05 p.m.: Look to center-right. Amused by 80s clad, rotund, middleaged man on abdominal adduction machine. Question comfort of football players in hooded sweatshirts and sweatpants. Frightened by facial expressions of Hockey players lifting. Troubled by necessity of four fitness center staff doing homework, occasionally returning weights to racks, aimlessly walking around gym.

4:13 p.m.: Timid, yet friendly girl approaches elliptical row. Freshman. Proceeds down row asking time remaining. Asks person to left. States 20 minutes. Recall that 15 minutes ago Number Two had 20 minutes remaining as well. Attempt to use Math 5 skills. Math abilities weak, remain confused yet cautious. Return to scanning gym.

4:20 p.m.: Startled by droplets of unidentified chemical from gym-provided spray bottles ricocheting off adjacent machine onto self.

4:32 p.m.: Postclass rush now in full effect. All bikes engaged. Even scary ancient Stairmaster is occupied by a man who seems to be having religious experience. Cannot recall gym ever being so crowded. Conclude source of dramatic increase in attendance attributed to New Years resolutions. Crowd problem will be alleviated in approximately two weeks.

4:40 p.m.: Conclude workout. Hesitantly use mysterious spray bottle and random rag to wipe down machine. Contemplate disinfecting powers. Observe two girls battling for use of machine. Retreat to allow better view of ensuing altercation.

4:41 p.m.: Walk past unidentified fraternity brothers who appear to be doing something but really aren't. Hear something about a hot freshman.

4:45 p.m.: Depart gym. Overwhelmed by crowd. Ecstatic at thought of arrival of spring and use of outside as an exercise apparatus.

Nicole Kolinski is a sophomore majoring in Political Science