Ask Angie

Q: I'm having a problem with identity theft -- it appears someone has stolen my identity. Here's the story: my name is Angie, I'm a junior majoring in psychology, and I enjoy sleeping, eating, watching movies and listening to music... perhaps this is beginning to sound a bit familiar to you? As you can see, this is quite a problem and I need some advice. What should I do, Angie??

--The "real" Angie



A: Hmm. I can imagine that this would be a problem during your time at Tufts! Angie, I wouldn't worry too much. The biggest difference between us is that you ARE the real Angie and I'm not. After all, I'm simply a secret persona for another member of the Tufts community. A bit of a mystery, I guess! Don't worry, I won't tread on your Angie turf other than on Tuesdays (from next week on) in the Daily -- that way you won't have to protect your identity the rest of the week. Is the problem that your friends think that you're "Ask Angie?" Do people keep bombarding you with personal questions? It was a good thing you came to talk to me. Just show them this article, and tell them I told you to tell them that I'm not you! Or something like that...



Q: My boyfriend has heard about this m?©nage-? -trois thing and he really wants to try it with me and another girl. I don't know because I don't like girls and I don't want to have another person in the bedroom, but I want him to be happy. We have been together for eight months. Should I try it?

-- Scared to experiment



A: The m?©nage-? -trois, or "threesome" is often the holy grail in a guy's mind. Your boyfriend likes girls. Your boyfriend likes you. You plus another girl would certainly seem to equal more fun in his mind... but often times that is, in fact, ALL in his mind. The reality is that since you've been together for eight months, this seems to be a fairly committed relationship. There is no way he's thinking about possible jealousy (on anyone's part) or the nasty consequence this sexual escapade could have on your relationship. Plus, there are the simple logistics to consider: who will he find for a one time deal? Will it be far more awkward than he could have imagined when it actually comes down to it? If he tries to rope one of your friends into it, imagine what that could do to your friendship! The fact that you're scared probably means this is a bad idea. You certainly have good reason to be hesitant, especially since you don't dig the idea of a same-sex experience. Since you never know 'til you try some of the time, ask your boy if he'd be willing to switch that extra girl for an extra guy and see if he's still so keen on the idea. It's cool that you're trying to keep an open mind, so if you do decide to go ahead with this, make sure you've talked over all of the consequences together -- and DEFINITELY use protection!



Q: Angie, I'm really sick of my girlfriend's friends. We are freshmen and got together pretty recently, and I definitely didn't know what I was getting into. When we walk around together, her friends say hello to her but give me really unpleasant looks and they are rude to me whenever I'm around them. I'm not sure what the deal is.

-- Often ignored



A: Yeah, I can see how that would really suck. Have you confronted your girlfriend about this? Maybe she's oblivious to the fact that her friends are so rude to you, or if not, she could at least shed some light on the situation. It's possible that her friends resent you for taking up so much of her time. She used to be able to spend tons of time with them, but now she's on your arm in Dewick or hanging out with you in your dorm room. Since you just recently started dating, I'll bet you're spending every waking moment together. You should keep in mind that it's important for each of you to maintain your own network of friends. Don't let her (or yourself) allow friends to drop off the radar because you're so blinded with love for each other. It's also possible that her friends aren't too fond of you in general. Why not make some effort to get to know them and show them the cool guy you really are? Next time you're going with your girl to a movie, ask if her friends would like to come. Make sure to talk to them and show that you're not the enemy. They'll come around eventually, and meanwhile you may end up with some new friends of your own.