Observations from NBA All-Star Weekend

In the Celebrity Game, 5'1 Frankie Muniz's NBA-range three-pointer in 6'3 Ashton Kutcher's eye was sweet, but I'm still waiting for the Muniz-on-the-shoulders-of-Sheryl-Swoopes dunk over Kutcher that never came. Or for Marko Jaric to viciously swat Muniz's shot into the upper deck.

Rookie Challenge: Sophs over rooks, 132-112. The rookies opened the game in a zone defense, which was puzzling since it suggested that some sort of defensive strategy was actually discussed in the pregame chalk talk. No one makes dunking look smoother and easier than Richard Jefferson _ a virtue in a real game, but not a skill that will win you a dunk contest. Jamaal Tinsley came out of the womb dribbling a basketball behind his back. Unfortunately, in the 24 years since then, he hasn't learned how to make a lay-up. Best sequence: Jay Williams' no look trailer pass to Amare Stoudemire, who missed the lay-up, which was rebounded by JWil, who flipped another behind the back no-look to Amare for the jam. Number of missed dunks and lay-ups: too many to count. Cheryl Miller, Marv Albert, and Mike Fratello are the last three people Inside the NBA wants to hear talk about basketball. And this seems like the first time Miller has covered a game in which her brother Reggie wasn't playing.

Three Point Shooting Contest:Inside the NBA challenges Antoine Walker (seven points, two airballs) to a three-point shooting contest. Inside the NBA would also pay money to watch champion Peja Stojakovic shoot. As if his suit wasn't bad enough, how about Craig Saiger ruining Peja's moment as champ by mentioning that it was too bad he couldn't have shot like that in Game Seven of the Western Finals versus the Lakers last year. Props to Peja for NOT strangling Saiger with his microphone cord on national television.

Dunk Contest: It took a slow-motion replay to realize that Jason Richardson went between his legs on his winning dunk. Desmond Mason threw down some sick ones too. Over the previous week, all the pundits from Sports Illustrated and ESPN dispensed their ideas to improve all-star weekend. One suggestion was to offer $5 million to entice the biggest stars to the dunk competition. Like the players need MORE money.

Want a real suggestion? How about having the NBA do some scouting in the city where the game is being played, and selecting the best local playground and YMCA dunkers to compete against some of the NBA's second tier dunkers. Picture three local nobodys, Mike Miller, Larry Hughes, and Michael Redd competing for a petty half a million dollar jackpot. It would be the NBA's version of reality TV, fans would get a thrill watching underdogs compete against the stars, and the locals could actually use the cash. Also, every sophomore and rookie not playing in the challenge game should be required to attend a mandatory skills camp during the weekend.

Oh yeah, The Game: West over East, 155-145, in two OTs. I hate to say it, but it hit home how old MJ is when he came out in the pregame introduction with his warm-ups tucked into his pants. It almost makes one forget that he was the one who made long shorts hip (along with the Fab Five, but now thanks to Chris Webber they don't really exist). Best line by an announcer: "Somehow I don't think Phil Jackson is in Montana drawing up wing isolations for Shaquille ONeal," after O'Neal dribbled the ball between his legs several times before driving to the hoop. Tracy McGrady caused a shot clock violation late in the fourth quarter. There should NEVER be a shot clock violation in an All-Star game. Thank god the game did not end in a tie; thank god David Stern is not Bud Selig. No Portland Trailblazers were selected to play in the game.

Most impressive performance of the weekend: the 6-year old girl who sang the National Anthem with soul, passion, and attitude beyond her years, putting Mariah Carey to shame (singing-wise, that is).

Best political stand: Steve Nash's "No War _ Shoot for Peace" T-shirt. It figures it would take a Canadian to show us the way.