In response to column on sexuality

Amber Madison's recent column ("Breasts, Sex, and Power" 4/9/3 Tufts Daily) impressed me with its emphasis on self-respect and self-comprehension.

Women notoriously have very complex relationships with their bodies and most of us struggle with body image and self-esteem issues at some point in our lives, but these topics warrant discussion on a college campus perhaps more than anywhere else because it is such a sexually charged environment.

For many women, college is a time to experiment with personal sexuality and also an opportunity to learn about the power that accompanies it, ranging from the choices we make about how to dress to the decisions we make about whether to "flash our tits" on spring break. I appreciated her pro-nudity, anti-sexism stance on exhibitionism and the fact that she addressed a difficult and complicated topic.

I was disappointed, however, with the examples of "controlling your sexuality" that the column proposes in the last paragraph. I completely agree with the idea of "being sexy when you want to, not at the request of others" but I firmly believe in the importance of not only controlling when you feel sexy but also how you feel sexy.

It is important to understand that true sexuality has less to do with the clothes you wear than with the woman beneath them. "It's about learning to make your sexuality about you, not about them"... or what you're wearing, for that matter.

To some people, controlling one's own sexuality means "having shaved legs, even if no one else touches them." But I know plenty of women (and men, for that matter) who consider unshaven very sexy. Wearing "lacy black thongs" can make a woman feel powerful and sexual, but we should feel that way in white cotton granny panties, too. Recognizing and accepting your own sexuality requires an examination of the society that has determined that shaven legs and lacy thongs are sexier than unshaven legs and cotton undies.

While the majority of the column encourages each woman to define and express her sexuality as she sees fit, the examples of "controlling your sexuality" in the last paragraph reinforce narrow confines for female sexuality.

To me, controlling my sexuality means defying society's preconceived notions of what it is. No one should feel that they can take my sexuality away from me, but neither should I internalize someone else's ideas of what it means for me to assert myself sexually. I believe in feeling as sexy in sweatpants as I feel in a miniskirt, as radiant in an oversized t-shirt as in a cleavage-baring tank top.

I am not suggesting a mass movement to ban low-cut shirts; on the contrary, sometimes it feels awesome to wear one with confidence. As opposed to narrowing the definition of what sexuality can and cannot be, I hope to broaden it to include anything and everything that makes an individual feel good for all the right reasons.

Because while dressing up can be a great expression of sexuality, taking a risk and confidently wearing something that's unusual, or something that's just plain comfortable, is the greatest indicator of a woman who appreciates the multitude of possibilities that come with controlling your sexuality.

Kimberly Bullock is a senior majoring in English and Spanish.