Getting some: at Tufts and beyond

In many ways, college is like an artificial full trout farm. Within a two-mile radius of the campus center are over 2,000 potential partners, and by November each year, all of them are legal. Then you have the added bonus of knowing any student you meet here is A) not a complete blockhead, and B) probably not even conservative. To me, those are pretty good odds.

Because Tufts isn't very large, chances are that you know somebody who knows somebody who knows the object of your affection. And if you don't, because you attend the same school, there is always some sort of college-related news you can use as a conversation starter. "God, I can't believe that Spring Fling was canceled!" Or, if you want to be more suggestive, "I'm going back home to order from Kee Kar Lau, wanna come?" And for those who really want to make an impression, there's "Hey! Did you do the Naked Quad Run? Cause I think I have a nude picture of you on my computer."

Picking up people at Tufts is fairly forgiving because if you wuss out one night, chances are you'll see them again soon. And if you're really afraid to talk to them, there's always the firstname.lastname@tufts.edu option.

Of course there are always those who opt out of the game, and prefer the stalking method instead. Lucky for them, Tufts is very stalker-friendly. If the "stalkee" lives on campus, all the stalker has to do is figure out if they live uphill or down hill and then spend a full meal period in either Carmichael or Dewick. Or, if it's around finals, spend the day in the library. The point is, if you want to run into someone, you can.

But now, your four years in the trout farm are up, and you're about to be dumped into a lake where the nearest fish could be miles away, and a much pickier eater. Post-graduation, "I'm a brother here" will no longer get you laid, and how many consecutive games of Beirut you won is irrelevant. From now on, the first time you meet someone may be the first and only chance you have at stunning him or her with your charm.

This is not to say that you'll never get any again; just don't be discouraged if it takes a while. And when you do get some, I have faith that you'll all practice safer sex. Even if you've made it though four years of college without contracting an STD, you're not out of the water yet.

According to the Center for Disease Control, two-thirds of new STD infections occur in people under 25. Yeah, you could have unprotected sex and luck out with gonorrhea or chlamydia, both of which are treatable. But you could also be stuck with HPV or Herpes and have potential genital breakouts the rest of your life. Not to mention HIV, which, as you all know, is fatal.

By safer sex, however, I mean more than simply using a condom and not having sex with someone with growths on their genitals. By safer sex, I also mean protecting yourself emotionally. Although it would be simpler to separate sex from emotion, it is nearly impossible.

I'm not saying that you are, or necessarily should be, in love with everyone you sleep with, but rather that in some way everyone you sleep with takes a toll on your emotions. All too often people base opinions about themselves on who they have, or, in some cases, who they have not had sexual relations with. You should never have sex as proof that you're attractive or as reassurance that you're desirable. This sort of "casual sex" has more emotional involvement than we care to admit. Sex can only be fulfilling if it's really what you want to be doing.

Hopefully, along with a college diploma, your experiences at Tufts have given you knowledge about sex, relationships, and respect. I'm sure many of you have had to learn the hard way that you can never be too safe in terms of birth control and STD protection. But at least mistakes made in the past can be used to prevent mistakes made in the future. I'm hopeful that your Tufts education will serve you well, and you will be prepared for whatever life hurls your way, whether it be sexual or not. Congratulations and good luck, class of 2003.