Watch the Oscars, watch your b.a.c.

This Sunday marks the 76th annual Academy awards, a night when Hollywood's brightest and loveliest turn out to honor the year's best movies. But why should the stars have all the fun? Here's a guide on how you, John and/or Jane Q. Jumbo, can have a bitching Oscar bash that any movie star would be proud to attend.



>ACTIVITIES

Billy Crystal is great, but it's going to take a little more than his scripted antics to keep your guests entertained. We in the Arts department suggest the following activities, some of which you may remember from birthday parties of yesteryear, others of which are a little more grown up (and thus should only be read by those Jumbos of legal drinking age. The rest of you, close your eyes.).



>Be crafty

Make your own Oscars out of macaroni and glitter glue. Production values count.



>Pin the Oscar on the Nominee

Cut out the picture of Oscar from the side of this page. Download choice pics of the nominees for best picture (or, if you're feeling creative, draw your own). Blindfold your guests, spin them around a few times, and let them loose. May the best pinner win. This game can, of course, be repeated with each category.



>Drinking games: an Academy sanctioned spectator sport

If you're classy, use champagne. If you don't care about making it to the end of the night, use tequila.

-- one drink every time someone "would like to thank the academy"

-- one drink every time someone makes a joke about LOTR

-- one shot for every camera shot of Jack Nicholson

-- one shot each time a winner is booted off the stage by the orchestra

-- a whole bottle for every "wardrobe malfunction"



>Oscar Trivia

Sample question: What won best costuming in 1997? Loser drinks.



>Winner takes all

At the beginning of the night, have your guests fill out a sheet predicting the winner for each category. For each faulty prediction, take a drink. For each correct one, take five. At the end of the night, the person who predicted the most winners has to help you clean up.



>Charades

Act out your favorite scenes from Oscar winning movies. Pick a category: love scenes, death scenes, drunk scenes.

Make up plots to go with all of the Oscar nominated movies you haven't seen. Act them out.

Have a contest to see who can come up with the best faux acceptance speech.

Award the winners of these games the macaroni statuettes you made earlier in the night



>Let your own star shine: get dressed up to the nines

Your closet is bulging with old prom dresses and tuxedo tees just aching to be worn. Take advantage of the occasion; tell all your invitees that your Oscar party is black tie (or a close approximation thereof). You'll be so pretty you won't even notice Joan Rivers' newest nip and tuck.



>Roll out your own red carpet

Even if you don't technically own a long red carpet, improvise. Red towels work just fine. Set up your starry altar from your front door up to the TV (if you're doing it in a dorm room, you may only need one towel). You can enlist other party goers to play the part of paparazzi, snapping pics from the sides. If you want, you can play Joan. Strive for perfection in your Somerville/Medfordian reproduction of the biggest night in Hollywood. Relish your failure.



>Hors d'oeuvres: why it's great not to have to be telegenic to get paid

When it comes to Oscar-time munchies, this is one area where you don't have to worry about being accurate. Serve everything that Nicole Kidman wouldn't be caught dead eating. In other words, be decadent. Think Doritos, Twinkies, pigs in a blanket, candy from Jumbo. Or you can go upscale and serve cocktail weenies on toothpicks. Live it up -- your livelihood doesn't rest on the amount of cushioning on your behind. There are perks to life away form the silver screen.