Hooking up

While I agree with Jack Grimes ("Hook up culture" March 30) that sex is an intimate act that is always more than just physical touching, I do not agree with his statement that "the real sexual power a woman has is to refuse to give away sex until the man has proved his commitment to her."

First, this statement presents sex as a tool for power, not a sign of intimacy. Power struggles can ruin relationships, and using sex for power is a problem in sexual abuse and rape. Secondly, the statement portrays sex as a reward for displays of commitment from males. The problem with guys believing this is that some will fake commitment or expect to "get some" after a few dates. Furthermore, it insults males by implying that they're no more than dogs who need the reward of a bone to commit. Lastly, sexual power is not about using sex to manipulate others; it's about being comfortable with your sexuality. Saying that women's sexual power comes from having or not having sex with men implies that women's power depends on men and that lesbians have no "real sexual power."

I also disagree that women "liberating their sexuality and owning their miniskirt" supports the hook-up culture. Acknowledging your sexuality is different from believing that sexual expertise/virility/empowerment comes from hook-ups, which "used to be said mostly by men". The double-standard that men could sleep around but not women was challenged by feminism with people demanding that men view women as equals and not household slaves for sex and other things. However, some women decided to end the double-standard by sleeping around as well. So to stop hook-up culture, let's remind people to use that large part of the brain called the frontal cortex, which is for judgment and controlling impulses, and get students to ask their friends, "You gonna ask someone out?" rather than, "You gonna hook-up tonight?"



Nina Lee

LA '07