Since Poland Spring started bottling water in 1845, I'll betthere's been a sizeable chunk of people asking themselves thequestion, "Is Poland Spring really what it means to be fromMaine?"
Well lucky for you folks I'm here to let you in on a littlesecret: It's not. Oh no, my friends. There's much, much more tobeing from the Pine Tree State, let me tell you.
What, you ask? If not bottled water, then what could it possiblymean to be from Maine?
Well I'm glad you asked. This is important. We Mainers are tiredof being defined by overpriced bottles of water -- water that halfof us get straight out of our tap anyway. There's a lot to beingfrom Maine, and it's time you all knew.
Being from Maine means that Cindy Blodgett is greatestbasketball talent the world has ever seen, and it means that therewill always be a place in your heart for Shaun Walsh.
It means that the biggest basketball dynasty of the last decadeisn't in Chicago or LA, it's in SAD 13 in Bingham, at a schoolcalled Valley with 165 students from grades 7-12. Think Hoosiers at20 degrees below zero, and instead of Gene Hackman, insert DwightLittlefield.
It means Bruce Glasier's Varsity Club.
It means that you cried a little when Travis Roy went head firstinto the boards eleven seconds into his first game at BU.
It means that Mike Bordick and Billy Swift are two of the bestbaseball p;ayers the MLB has ever seen, never mind what the numbersmight say. And, depending on where you went to high school, it alsomeans that Eric Weinrich is a great NHL player.
It means that the center of the hockey universe is the CentralMaine Civic Center in Lewiston, where you've gotten into fights inthe top row during high school playoff games, while choking on theexhaust fumes from the 200 year old zamboni. This, of course, wasafter you had to wade through knee-deep mud in the parking lotbecause for some reason, no matter how dry it was anywhere else,that parking was always filled with mud. (Since the LewistonMaineiacs -- a semipro hockey team -- came to town, this scene haschanged a little, but nobody will ever really forget the way itused to be.)
It means that "Get your deer yet?" is a perfectly normalquestion, as is the carcass of a whitetail hanging in yourneighbor's back yard.
It means that you had to wear blaze orange on numerous occasionswhen you were little just to go outside and play.
It means that there's really no finer day than the first day ofopen water fishing, no matter what the weather is.
It means that you've gone to Cumberland Farms early on at leastone Thursday to make sure you got your Uncle Henry's before theysell out.
It means you've never been more than one degree of separationfrom a pickup truck bigger than an S-10, two degrees of separationfrom an LL Bean employee discount, three degrees of separation froma snowmobile, and four degrees of separation from a fourwheeler.
It means that you're a loyal Red Sox fan, at least as devoted asanybody from Massachusetts and probably more so.
It means that Bangor is a basketball mecca.
It means Bob Marley is a comedian, not a reggae singer.
It means Sam's is an Italian Sandwich Shoppe, not a discountshopping club.
It means that Paul Kariya is from Maine, even if he plays on theCanadian Olympic team.
It means that you rank Joey Gamache among the top lightweightboxers of all time.
It means Mark Plummer and Abby Spector are two of the bestgolfers of all time.
It means Joan Benoit Samuelson, and recently, it has meant NikCaner-Medley and Ian Crocker.
It means you say "rum" instead of "room."
It means that, not only do you know what the green stuff in thelobster is called, but you eat it.
It means Sugarloaf and Sunday River.
It means that even if you've never seen a game, you'll be aBlack Bears fan for the rest of your life.
It means the Portland Pirates and the Sea Dogs, and bonus pointsto you if it means the Maine Mariners.
It means you've caught yourself on multiple occasions saying"Ayuh."
It means the Fryeburg Fair, the Yarmouth Clam Festival, theFestival de Joie, and the Beach to Beacon.
It means Funtown USA, Aquaboggan, and OOB.
It probably means you've worked in Freeport, and you cursedtourists to no end while doing it.
It means having been to towns with populations of zero withnames like TR-326.
It means Cote's Ice Cream, Humpty-Dumpty potato chips andJordan's Hot Dogs.
And maybe most importantly, being from Maine means you want topunch Jolly John in the face.
So the next time you pick up a Poland Spring bottle, take amoment and think of this list. That water might just taste a littlebit better.
Ethan Austin is a senior majoring in English. He can bereached at austin@tuftsdaily.com
