This article is the first in a four-part weekly series looking at sex on campus. The articles will be based in large part on anecdotal evidence, asking the question "How do we behave sexually at Tufts, and how aware are we of the risks?" This first article will look at student behavior, while the next three will focus on the ramifications of that behavior.
Everyone has read the obligatory sex pamphlets that list ways to protect oneself and others, and what to do if one ever slips up. STD tests, symptoms, treatments, the morning after pill, adoption, abortion, pre-natal care. How relevant is that to life on campus? Do we use that knowledge? Is our community so insular that we reject most safety precautions out of the belief that "it could never happen to us?"
The college students surveyed appear to rate pregnancy as their greatest sexual fear, above sexual diseases. Many females who the Daily spoke with, all of whom requested to remain anonymous, relied on birth control pills to stay "safe" during sexual intercourse, without a second form of protection against STDs.
"I have been on birth control since the day I graduated from high school," one senior said. "I didn't, however, enforce that he always wore a condom, because it feels better when he doesn't and I was always protected."
"This didn't present a problem until I was recently made startlingly aware of how difficult it is to detect some STDs in men, and have since decided you can never be too careful," she added.
Since then, in all but one case, she has made her partner wear a condom. She shows more foresight than many of her counterparts, though, since each of the three partners she has had were all tested for diseases before becoming involved with her.
One male senior who has had seven partners followed this trend, only using condoms with non-girlfriends, until a scare and a talk with his mom forced him to think more seriously about disease.
"I fear STDs - you never know who your partner is and what they carry," he said. "Knowing there's no cure for AIDS and just how common something like herpes is is a real worry. I hope that I'll be smart enough not to make the drunken mistake of not wearing protection with a random girl again. I got lucky with that one."
He also worries about the emotional side effects of sex. "Emotionally, I hate the baggage some girls bring after sex," he said. "Some just don't see it the same way you do and sometimes will try and make something more out of a one-night stand than there really was."
Of course, in college, there is no "norm." For every woman who believes she is safe without condoms, there is another who sticks adamantly to their use. "The reality is that this isn't like high school," said one female junior, who has had one sexual partner for a year and a half and uses condoms every time they have sex. "You don't necessarily know everything you think you know about a person. They could have had one partner or 10. Protection is a must even if you think you really know the person."
One male junior tries to be careful, but finds it difficult sometimes. "I try to always use protection, but unfortunately, alcohol sometimes skews my judgment," he said. "I think the biggest fear is getting a girl pregnant, even before an STD, because many STDs are tough to get even if you have unprotected sex, especially HIV."
When asked for further explanation on this theory, he said "apparently from what I have heard, a heterosexual male who has unprotected sex is more unlikely to get an STD than either a female or a homosexual male."
After two months of nagging thoughts, he was tested and came up clean. "I was very mad at myself and I didn't get myself tested for a couple of months because I wanted to monitor the situation," he said. "I got really paranoid so I decided to get tested."
There is more to fear from sex than STDs and pregnancy. One female senior who has had three sexual partners believes that love, more than condoms, is necessary for protection during sex.
"Sex is a personal act that can be dangerous unless you are choosy about your partner," she said. "Being in love makes sex better."
"I'm too scared to have sex without being in love because I don't want to get hurt," she added. "Condoms protect from diseases, but they cannot protect from emotional hurt and attachment that may come from sex."
Another female senior female reiterated those same feelings in describing her choice to lose her virginity. "Pregnancy and disease weren't a worry; it was more how the situation would change after," she said. "How he'd act toward me. Was I giving up some kind of power or something? It's definitely a double standard because I don't think guys worry about that kind of stuff."
One male student cites the lessons from his high school health classes as pervasive when considering sex, although he notes that they have rarely changed his behavior.
"Everyone thinks about pregnancy and STDs because of all the classes we have had to take," he said. "They scare ... you and make you never want to have sex."
Although he said he is not into random sex, he attributes this to the social scene at Tufts as much as his health classes. "The Tufts environment is not conducive to sex," he said. "There's no place where everyone can come together and have fun, save for a few events like Spring Fling, tailgating at Homecoming, and maybe even Fall Fest and Naked Quad Run. Even house parties are always small and get broken up, and it's always the same people."
One senior who has had seven sexual partners has no regrets regarding her sexual history, though its evolution has taught her a lot. "I do think once you find someone you like being with both sexually and emotionally, it takes sex to a higher level and shows you the importance of that bond between two people that you may not have experienced in your prior sexual history," she said.
"I also think it's scary these days with the amount of STD's out there, [including] the ones that protection sometimes doesn't even prevent [such as herpes]," she added. "The only thing you can do is be as careful as possible in terms of protection but realize that in this day and age the percentages are against you."
