The next five days of food, family and fun are a great time for reflection and much deliberation about how you can pretend to do schoolwork while not doing any work whatsoever. It is also, naturally, a period of gratitude, of thanksgiving. In keeping with the spirit of the holiday, here is my television-related list of what I am thankful for.
Thanks to reality television. Yes, I hate the genre, but it has spawned a magnificent scripted program in "Arrested Development." The v?©rit?© photography owes itself to the documentary style adopted by various reality shows. Thankfully, creator Mitch Hurwitz forewent the "testimonial" gimmick that has never shed its banality. Two of the show's highlights include Will Arnett's goofy rendition of the hapless and sleazy Gob and Michael Cera as the pubescently repressed George-Michael-reminding anyone who watches him what it was like to be an awkward high schooler. I haven't had a weekly must-see comedy on my schedule since the glory years of "The Simpsons."
Thanks to Ron Artest and the Detroit fans. Since the Red Sox victory, there really has been nothing to talk about in the wide world of sports. College football is essentially non-existent in the New England; it is rather sad when a competition between two Ivy League schools is the high point of the season. Parity has killed much of the excitement in the NFL, making any games before December uninteresting. Thankfully, the NBA has intervened with a brawl of epic proportions. The jaw-dropping battle between Indiana hoopsters and Detroit fans should carry the news cycle until the final two weeks of football and baseball's winter meetings. Think of it this way: if it hadn't been for Stephen Jackson's sucker punches, we'd still be talking about Nicolette Sheridan dropping her towel on "Monday Night Football."
Thanks to GEICO for renewing my faith in advertising. Whoever runs the ad campaign for the car insurance company had better be sweeping the Clio awards. Two spots in particular stand out: the "Tiny House" ad, which brilliantly spoofed reality programming, and the relatively recent "cavemen" ads. In those ads, a stereotypical adman explains how switching to GEICO online is so easy that even a "caveman" could do it. The camera then pans out to a studio set, where a caveman/cameraman says, "That's not cool, man." Guess you just have to see it.
Thanks to "Jeopardy!" for giving dorks a good name. Ken Jennings has become something of a household name due to his unprecedented run on the show, earning $2,355,001 since June 2. These past two weeks, the quiz show has been running its College Championship edition, featuring my good high school friend Ari. Tonight, he's in the second of a two-episode final. He's a bigger dork than I, so if he wins and reaps all the fame and fortune that comes with a "Jeopardy!" championship, I have something to hope for.
Thanks to Tufts Computing and Communication Services (TCCS) for not wasting our tuition money by giving into ESPN's ridiculous demands for $50,000 so Tufts could air their programming on the Tufts cable network. When the cable giant Comcast is having disputes with ESPN, you can't blame TCCS for its resolve. I'm as big a sports fan as any other Jumbo, but my fandom has its price and the Worldwide Leader in Sports has exceeded it. And to continue to harp on this point...
No Thanks to ESPN for giving capitalism a bad name. Do they really have to hold out and charge more than every other station combined for a couple thousand college students? It would be as if Barnes and Noble had a bookstore on campus and charged exorbitant prices merely because it was a "Tufts" bookstore. Ahem.
The short end of the wishbone should definitely be passed to Michael Powell and the FCC. Their blatant disregard for the First Amendment and shameless kowtowing to a few right-wing prudes is reprehensible. It isn't the FCC's job to dole out enough fines to frighten affiliates from airing "Saving Private Ryan" on Veteran's Day. Jeff Jarvis, former critic for TV Guide and current blogger, uncovered on buzzmachine.com that of the supposed 159 complaints about Fox's "Married by America," only three were original. The rest were copies of a form letter. So, by charging Fox $1.2 million, that comes out to a $400,000 charge per complaint. Maybe this is the key toward paying for the war in Iraq: get the FCC to sponsor a few fundraisers. Mr. Powell, I hope you get the plate with the marshmallow-less sweet potatoes.
Burnt stuffing to producer John Wells for his single-handed dismantling of one of the best dramas in television, "The West Wing." After the ingenious Aaron Sorkin left the show because of a contract dispute, Wells has infused the program with the same melodrama and shallow character development that killed "ER." To steal a joke from the fansite televisionwithoutpity.com, viewers shouldn't be surprised if one of the White House staffers had their head cut off by Marine One. Maybe the show will rebound, but until then, Wells should realize that the success of "The West Wing" lay in its clever writing and strong characters, not weak melodrama and unbelievable plot developments.<$>
