Ice Cube's newest theatrical release, "Are We There Yet?" is his first foray into the world of family comedy. After seeing the film, one hopes it will also be his last.
Nick Persons (Ice Cube), a former minor league baseball player whose career was cut short by injury, owns a sports collectibles store in Portland, Oregon with his friend Marty (Jay Mohr). Lonely and bored, Nick dreams of meeting a woman.
Enter Suzanne Kingston (Nia Long), a sexy divorc?©e. Unfortunately for Nick, he has landed in the dreaded 'friend zone,' doomed to a platonic relationship with her. Also standing in his way are Suzanne's two children, who have made it their personal mission to drive off her potential suitors.
Opportunity knocks when on New Year's Eve, Suzanne's ex-husband, supposed to bring the kids to Vancouver to meet her for the holiday, says he's too sick to go. Suzanne, desperate, turns to Nick to bring the kids to Vancouver. Almost immediately the trip is beset by a series of obnoxious and improbable mishaps. After the children get the group kicked off their flight, the trio set out in Nick's pimped-out Lincoln Navigator.
Along the way the Navigator is hijacked by the children, run off the road by a bunch of overzealous truckers, and eventually destroyed by a combination of projectile vomit and a crazed deer.
After a hobo style train ride and a dramatic horse chase, the children manage to detour to their father's house. As the children peer in the window at their father, they discover him joyfully playing with his new wife and infant child.
Nick makes a breakthrough as he tries to comfort the heartbroken children, finally winning them over as he explains how his own father left him. Eventually, of course, Nick gets the girl, and everyone lives happily ever after.
Like Jennifer Garner in "13 Going On 30," Cube tries his best to present himself as a mainstream comedic actor to a new generation of kids and parents. Trying new things comes second nature to the rapper, as proven by his eclectic career.
Cube first burst onto the national scene as a rapper and songwriter with the influential group N.W.A in the late 1980s. He made his movie debut in "Boyz n the Hood" (1991), and co-wrote and starred in the cult favorite "Friday" (1995). Since then he has become one of the biggest producers in the music industry, producing acts from the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Dr. Dre.
His latest transformation, however, seems to have fallen flat. Bland and mean-spirited, the film at times seems like a tribute to America's obsession with and imitation of things they see on MTV's "Cribs." From Nick's pimped-out Lincoln Navigator, to the children's proclamation of being 'ghetto fabulous,' the film happily stereotypes African-American culture.
Writer/director Brian Levant, ("Snow Dogs," "The Flintstones") seems incapable of making a genuinely amusing movie. Indeed, "Are We There Yet?" is basically a hodge-podge of humorous moments from other films in the genre.
The film's premise, bratty kids wreaking havoc, has been savagely beaten to death over the last decade. Other gags, such as a talking Satchel Paige bobble-head doll, voiced by Tracy Morgan, are painfully tired.
All in all, this movie is not worth seeing. The proof is in the pudding. Before viewing "Are We There Yet?," ask around and see what people thought of "Snow Dogs" - if you can find anyone that saw it.
