NBA All-Star Weekend in Denver lived up to the hype this year, if only because of the slam dunk contest between Josh Smith and Amare Stoudemire. Smith jumped over K-Mart in a chair and Stoudemire took a header off of Steve Nash for a reverse slam.
The game had its highlights too, with Vinsanity making its return as the Net hit a self alley-oop. Even the opening tip was entertaining, with Shaq and Kobe refusing to shake hands.
But thinking about Kobe and the All-Star game reminded me of a conversation I had with some of my friends a few months ago. We put together a list of players that we just can't stand. Here's your NBA We-Hate-You All-Star Team.
We didn't restrict our hate to normal NBA bad guys like Ron Artest (although he made the team). We also didn't restrict players based on whether they are still contributing members of teams or even whether they are still in the league. We ended up with a list of 41 players, a coach, a commentator, two whole teams and a college team. I narrowed it down to 14 players, a coach and a commentator.
Pre-game introductions time. Here's the starting five. Get the smoke machine out. In the frontcourt, former Boston Celtic and Dallas Maverick and current Atlanta Hawk starting forward and leading scorer, it's Antoine Walker (a cacophony of boos and trash greets the NBA's worst team player). I'm not worried about how many Boston fans I'm angering right now because this guy cares more about his taunts than anything else. He's sixth in the league right now with 3.4 turnovers a game and has previously led the league in three-point attempts and has averaged as many as 3.7 turnovers a game (2000-01).
Joining him up front is shooting specialist and Indiana Pacer Reggie Miller. Maybe it was the guy's taunts and attempts at dethroning Air Jordan, or maybe it was the sight of him sweeping the Sixers out of the playoffs in 1999 and then beating them again in 2000. But this guy always gets it done (eight points in 16.4 seconds against the Knicks in 1995) and still pisses off everyone in the process.
At center (we're not so concerned about positions here at the We-Hate-You All-Star team) is glory hog and former Chicago Bull, Houston Rocket and Portland Trailblazer Scottie Pippen. Raise your hand if you think this guy is one of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players between 1946 and 1996. Nobody? That's what I thought.
And in the backcourt, we have the Lakers duo of Rick Fox and Kobe Bryant. One ended up with Vanessa Williams, despite having more hair products than her and caring more about acting than she does. The other managed to drive away two of the biggest names in the sport ever (the Zenmaster and the Shaq Daddy), while inviting charges of rape and still criticizing Karl Malone for making passes at his wife. They also both ruined the Sixers' chance at an NBA title in 2001.
Coming off the bench, there's (in no particular order) Keith Van Horn, Tyronn Lue, Ron Artest, Tayshaun Prince, Austin Croshere, Mehmet Okur, Carmelo Anthony, Marcus Camby and Ricky Davis.
For Van Horn, he was a Sixer twice, and both times, he just wasted our time. In each one of his eight seasons in the NBA, he's been nothing but disappointing. Why do you think this guy's greatest career moments came as a Stormin' Mormon under Rick Majerus (two buzzer beaters in the 1996 WAC tourney)?
Tyronn Lue, Tayshaun Prince, Austin Croshere and Mehmet Okur all fall under the title of Sixer beaters. I'll concede that fact. But Lue is also just a punk (who did he think he was, trying to push A.I. around in Game 1 of the finals in 2001?), Okur and Prince are simply pesky and Austin Croshere hasn't done anything since the turn of the century and still brings home an NBA check.
Ron Artest, Marcus Camby and Carmelo Anthony are NBA bad boys and prima donnas. Artest should be banned from the league for his stupid acts of petty violence and fighting. If Camby (sorry Minutemen fans) would stop fighting and getting injured, he might be a productive center. But prior to last season (when he played 72 games), he had never played more than 63 games in a season. And 'Melo should have stayed at Syracuse instead of being the sophomoric joke he's become this year.
Ricky Davis will always be one of my most hated players because of one incident: the self-rebound. On March 16, 2003, Davis tried to give himself a triple double by intentionally missing a shot off his own basket. He can win the MVP for the next twelve seasons, but I'll always despise him for that play.
Directing the action from the bench is George Karl. I was simply dumbfounded in 2001 when he made claims that the referees and the league wanted the Sixers to go to the finals. This guy is just a crybaby. Heck, I'd cry too if I lost three straight to Deke and the Nuggets in the 1993-94 playoffs despite being the top seed in the West.
And this team's commentator would be Bill Walton. He's egotistical, one-sided, and just plain stupid. He's perfect for this team. And he'd have to commentate alone because he's too overbearing to have a partner.
There you have it. That's my team. If you have any suggestions, leave a comment online. This is the provisional team, and I'm not ruling out changes.
