After taking the first two games of their respective Eastern conference first round series, the Heat and the Pistons are set on a collision course. There is no way these teams will not face off with each other for a trip to the Finals come late May. It is basketball destiny.
Miami is sticking it to Ason Kidd (still missing the J) and Half-man, Half-injured and company. Personally, I hope this series gets over with quickly so they can stop showing that stupid commercial with Kidd seducing the trophy. "You seem nervous?" Yeah, I would be pretty nervous too if I was in the room alone with Kidd. At least his acting skills are pretty much on line with that 16 pound piece of metal.
As for the Pistons, it will be a major disappointment if they do not sweep the hapless Sixers. After getting smoked for the second consecutive game, Allen Iverson said the team desperately needed to come up with some new scheme for stopping the Pistons. At this point, it does not seem that even practice could save AI. At least Kyle Korver will get some early time off to promote his recently released movie "A Lot Like Love." Please, get him out of here.
While both teams are locks to advance to the second round, their opponents there might need another week to figure out. Not like that matters either. Miami will obliterate either Chicago or Washington, and Detroit will dispatch of either Indiana or Boston, although Indiana would be a lot of fun to watch. Just don't expect AA Battery Night at the Palace for the opener of that series.
Of course, predicting which of these teams will advance to the Finals is a little outside the scope of my magic eight ball. Detroit took care of Shaq and Kobe in the Finals, so why wouldn't they be able to beat Shaq and Wade?
Miami's answer to that starts with Damon Jones (a.k.a. Alfred the Butler) and goes right on down the line. Miami's supporting cast around Shaq and Wade is oh-so-much better than the washed up flounders surrounding Shaq and Kobe last season. Call Wade and Kobe equals, even though Wade's numbers are slightly better than Kobe's last season. Pretty amazing.
You can go right down the roster, starting at point guard. You have your choice of Damon Jones and Keyon Dooling or Gary Payton and Derek Fischer. Jones has basically become the Dennis Scott of Shaq's Orlando days, ranking in the top five in three point makes, attempts and percentage, while Dooling has been so-so. Between Jones and Dooling and a worn out Glove and the flop-master Derek Fischer, Jones' marksmanship and efficiency gives the Heat an edge over the Lakers of old at the point position.
The other position where the teams probably push is the power forward spot, with Udonis Haslem matches up against last year's grizzled Karl Malone. Haslem has been solid in his second season, averaging 11 points and nine rebounds, shooting just over 50 percent. Malone was a shell of himself, but that shell was still good for 13 and nine, shooting just under 50 percent. Call it a push, even though Haslem has not yet made any advances on Dwayne Wade's wife.
At small forward, you have your pick of Eddie Jones or Devean George. As much as I love D-III George, you have to give a slight edge to Eddie Jones. Jones has had a down year, but he shoots the ball slightly better from the three than George (38 percent to 35 percent), and his per-48 minute stats in points and assists just edge out George's. Not to mention that Jones is a three-time All-Defensive selection. Miami gets the edge at the three position.
For the rest of the bench you have Rasual Butler, Christian Laettner and Shandon Anderson for the Heat, and Kareem Rush, Luke Walton and my favorite, Rick Fox. There cannot really be a question that the Heat has an advantage in this category as well. Rush was dumped by the Lakers for a second-round pick in the offseason, a sign of how highly they thought of him. Luke Walton makes you wonder how much longer he is going to last in the league. Rick Fox ... can he PLEASE go back to the Bahamas? At least he is done with Radioshack commercials. What a joke.
Of course, I left out two other players - two critical players. It might be the single biggest difference between the Heat and the Lakers team from last year, and that is Alonzo Mourning going up against Stanislav Medvedenko. Mourning looks like he has turned back the clock, after an outstanding 21-point, nine-rebound effort in only 16 minutes of play in Game 2 against the Nets. If Mourning can continue to play like that, the Heat will not be stopped, not even in the Finals. So do I really have to talk about Medvedenko? In all seriousness, Stanislav probably has a future as being cast as "the giant Euro center" if they ever make a sequel to "Eddie." God, what a horrible movie.
That's it for me, so when there's a parade in South Beach this June don't say that I didn't warn you. I hope you enjoyed my brief stint as a columnist at Tufts. I will be sure to drop the school a line when I am in the GM office in Madison Square Garden some day. Until then, enjoy the Playoffs.
Dennis Doyle is a senior majoring in engineering. He can be reached at Dennis.Doyle@tufts.edu.
