This weekend, I'm staying home.
I will stay at home, pour myself a glass of wine, turn up the music ... and then open my doors to friends, friends' friends, neighbors and most likely quite a few strangers.
Drinks and entertainment are the next obvious step, but I'm tired of the standard keg on the floor; ditto to the bottles of cheap mixers and even cheaper hard liquor lining the kitchen counter.
Punches and other mixed drinks are delicious, assuming they're done properly, but do require pre-party prep time. However, if you're throwing this party with housemates, the preparation part can be tons of fun.
When it comes to serving the masses, preparing big vats of various punches is the best idea next to having a keg. Mixing a punch hardly requires a chemistry degree: combine fruit juices and add as much or as little alcohol as you want. Taste. Top it off with more juice or seltzer water as necessary. There are some pointers that you may want to remember, though:
1. If you're not using fresh fruit juices, be sure to taste test for sweetness. Guests will avoid your drink like death if their front teeth fall out on their first sip.
2. If possible, freeze some of the punch before the party. Then as punch runs out, add the frozen punch to the bowl (tub/basin/whatever). This way, there's no need for extra ice and the punch doesn't end up at room temperature.
3. If freezing isn't a possibility, buy small-to-medium bags of ice. If the punch will be served from a big common basin, simply leave the entire bag of ice inside the basin, bag and all. The ice won't melt as quickly and dilute the punch. Make sure you rinse off the outside of the ice bag first though, please.
All right, enough of the punch. Let's get down to some good ol' wiggly business. I am, of course, talking about Jell-o shots. These slippery goodies go quickly and you risk being mobbed once you bring them out of the freezer, but they're guaranteed to be an appreciated treat.
Like the punch, Jell-o shots are easy to make. Buy several boxes of Jell-o (one box makes approximately 12 2oz. Dixie cup servings). Follow the instructions on the box, but substitute half of the water with alcohol. Vodka is a popular choice, but tequila and everclear work as well.
You could increase the proportion of alcohol, but know that past the half-half stage, the less water used, the more you risk the Jell-o not coalescing properly.
Pour the mix into Dixie cups, ice cube trays, or into a baking pan and freeze. If you use a baking pan, you can cut the Jell-o up into slices whatever sizes you want - which comes in handy when you don't know how many people to expect.
Ok, so now I have punch and jigglers on the menu. What about entertainment? What else can I do to keep people occupied after they've put their names down on a list that is longer than the waitlist for a golf club membership?
At a house party, unfortunately the answer is "not much." Most drinking games involve cards or dice or tricky physical manipulations of objects like cups that require a table surface. But where there's a will, there's a way.
My favorite house-party games tend to be vocal games that involve tricky words, lots of messing up and, of course, laughter. These games need three things: at least five people, an area where you can hear each other shouting, and drinks. So grab a couch if you can, or a clean spot on the floor in an area away from the main party.
Fuzzy Duck
This is a great game after everyone has already had a few drinks and is a bit hyper and giddy. It is perfect to play as a party winds down.
Set up: Sit in a circle.
Play: The first person says to the person on the left, "Fuzzy duck." Play continues left until someone decides to say "does he" (or, "duzzy"). Then, play changes direction and the phrase is reversed. Now, people will say "Ducky fuzz" until someone once again pulls a "duzzy."
Screw ups: Whoever screws up a phrase must drink. Watch for the obvious screw-ups involving profanity. Also drink if you're too overcome with laughter to continue.
Ibble Dibble
Set up: Get a marker or pen. Sit in a circle.
Terminology: An IBBLE-DIBBLE is a player in the game. A DIBBLE-IBBLE is a mark on a player made with the marker/pen.
Play: Assign each player a number 1, 2, 3, etc. Play starts with one player identifying him or herself and calling upon another player. Calls go like this: "This is Number One IBBLE-DIBBLE with Zero DIBBLE-IBBLES calling Number Four DIBBLE-IBBLE with Zero DIBBLE-IBBLES." Player number four then proceeds to call on someone else in the same pattern.
Screw ups: If the caller pauses too long or calls someone by the wrong number, drink. Also, someone makes a mark on the caller's, hand, arm, face, wherever. The caller now has one DIBBLE-IBBLE. Play also stops whenever someone calls out the wrong number of DIBBLE-IBBLEs. The offending player must drink and gets another mark. Play on until numbers and dibble-ibble-bibbles mesh together and people run out of skin to mark.
The best part of this game is that, come 3 a.m. you'll get to shoo people out into the streets with various marks on their bodies. But, remember, karma is tricky: they'll have to deal with doodles ?? la Garden State, but you'll have to clean up mystery puddles inside.
Perhaps I'll end up going out after all ...
