The process usually happens like this: I tell my friends that I am taking an Ex College on masculinity, and they chuckle. Why would I, a male, need to take a class on masculinity? After some uncomfortable humor, males and females alike suddenly have a lot to say. Heads nod in agreement when I present the ideas we have been reading and analyzing in class. Men share their own experiences, and women offer equally significant insights. Even brief conversations have shown me that the concept and expressions of masculinity profoundly influence both men and women.
Why, you might ask, would I want to write an article addressed to other men in order to convince them of the importance of these issues? The process of involvement in gender issues for me began one year ago, when my school held its first "Gender Matters Day." Students from a feminism class set the program, and naturally, many males reacted defensively to the idea. Perhaps in light of the social stigma around feminism, we thought "gender" was less of a concern for men than for women. Throughout the course of the day's discussions, I found myself emerging with a newfound appreciation for the complexity of masculinity, femininity, and the gender issues which I now believe are essential for our generation to confront.
So, what does "masculinity" really mean? This fundamental question hangs over every casual conversation on the topic, and indeed, over the mind of every adolescent male. I have learned that the popular conception of masculinity usually refers to "hegemonic masculinity." That is, the masculinity that dominates as the archetype against which all expressions of masculinity are measured. A much more accurate portrait of masculinity is that there are in fact multiple socially constructed "masculinities" that constantly collide and vie for the attention of developing males. By the time we reach adolescence, society has familiarized us with imagery of confident athletes, emotional "thinkers," and suave playboys. Whether male or female, one's masculinity is evaluated through characteristics such as physical strength, athletic prowess, fashion sense, relationship success (freshman translation: hookup frequency and quality) and other factors which are too numerous to mention but come easily to mind when we examine our idea of what makes man "man" and woman "woman."
The first step toward understanding gender and masculinity is realizing that nearly everything we choose to do and say is marked by a mixture of masculine and/or feminine connotations. What to make, then, of men or women who make controversial choices on highly masculinized or femininized issues, such as a man who dresses extremely well (the concept of "metrosexuality") or a woman who loves to watch football? In what ways does society enforce certain behaviors and discourage others?
American hegemonic masculinity may be a stringent "Abercrombie & Fitch" ideal (the tall, white, heterosexual, silent, anti-intellectual and well-muscled "breadwinner"), but the masculinity of real modern men is usually far from this unattainable and often undesirable ideal. Exclusivity is a necessary feature of hegemonic masculinity; a tool by which the majority maintains and exerts its power. It is this exclusivity that lies at the heart of men's suffering and stands in the way of our struggle to achieve our inner concepts of masculinity. Even those men who possess merely by birth a shot at the hegemonic ideal often feel confused by the systematic rejection of their "soft" aspects. Societal factors (movies and television especially) frequently encourage men to be stoic strongmen and heroically dominate the women they care about. Most importantly, as men become aware of the tangible existence of hegemonic masculinity in magazines, sports and advertising, they cannot help but question the dehumanizing commoditization of our strength, our compassion, our true masculinity.
As men, it is clearly time to stand up for ourselves and halt trends towards oppressive masculine ideals. The perpetuation of hegemonic masculinity is a crime that all men participate in willingly (if at first, unconsciously) through our daily speech and actions among ourselves and with women. Therefore, it is only men that can create a new hegemonic masculinity, a masculinity that promotes positive attributes such strength (as opposed to aggression) and compassion (as opposed to politically correct bullshit side-stepping.)
Society must make a variety of masculinities acceptable by raising a greater spectrum of masculine identities into mainstream culture. For every oil-drenched, muscle-pumped, gun-grabbing 50 Cent image, I want a Ben Stiller, a Donnie Darko, or a John Lennon. While it is true that "sex sells," it is ultimately consumers who choose what plays well and what is unacceptable. Personally, I am sick of conventional imagery rebuking and downplaying the positive masculine traits that my friends recognize and espouse in me. For a progressive example, consider Mark McGwire, the slugger whom upon breaking a MLB record for homeruns in a single season shed tears as he shared the moment with his young son. Clearly, positive role models and methods of value reinforcement through family, friends, and community are critical in forging a new masculinity.
Men confident in their own masculinity would be less fearful of homosexuals and more accepting of men who choose less dominant masculine identities, such as those who enjoy cooking, choose not to play sports, or engage in introspective activities like reading, journaling, and poetry. Furthermore, when students are presented with positive role models (will any fraternity heed this call?), it will be easier for us to discredit and discourage the "college guy" stereotypes of drunken disrespect and mistreatment of women. To reiterate my ideology, when men raise our collective consciousness and tackle the issues of hegemonic masculinity, men will benefit through greater confidence and faith in their masculinity. Women will benefit from decreased sexual violence, greater respect and appreciation, and improved relationships with men.
I am here to raise awareness of the plight of men and liberate those who haven't had the beautiful advantage of exposure to gender consciousness. Men and women both - think of your own fathers, brothers, and friends: What have they taught you about what it means to be a man? Men, what images do you attempt to identify with in music videos, cinema and literature? If what I say has resonated with you, share this article with a friend, or come see me at Houston 127. The Tufts Men's Activist Coalition (TMAC) has formed this year to take action on collegiate issues. Similar groups exist for the African-American and queer communities on campus. Last but not least, there are many women's groups on campus carrying on the struggle. Relations between the "two teams" of men and women do not have to be a zero-sum game: When men improve, everybody wins.
Neil Metzler is a freshman who has not yet declared a major.
