Over the past few weeks, the Daily has run a series of off the hill viewpoints on immerging trends of college-educated women's choices about maternity. I'm writing to add a perspective from Tufts to the debate.
One of these articles, printed about two weeks ago from NYU, insinuates that the choice being made by increasing numbers of female college graduates to be full-time stay at home moms is a pathetic waste of an expensive education. More recently, a viewpoint from the University of Nebraska was printed, suggesting that mothers who choose to work would often be happier to stay home and raise their children full-time. Both of these articles were written by women. It may seem at first glance that one is a pro-feminist article and the other anti-feminist, but I do not believe that to be the case; as a staunch feminist, I find both of the attitudes expressed in these articles to be absolutely appalling.
Let's make one thing clear: A foundational and enduring goal of the feminist movement is to create a world in which all women have the freedom to choose how to live their lives, without being ostracized or punished. True, the feminist movement sets great hopes on the social progression that could occur from a full integration of women into the professional world. But I see a college educated woman who is able to choose how to live her life, with integrity, as a great victory for feminism no matter what her career path may be. Obviously, the legal, social, economic and cultural boundaries to this goal of choice are immense, especially on the question of maternity, as both these attitudes prove.
There are a plethora of social and financial factors that go into every mother's hugely difficult choice of how to support her family. Both of the previously printed viewpoints ignored these external factors and blamed the mothers themselves for making an irresponsible decision - no matter which decision they made.
On the one hand, criticizing mothers who work for a living is shameful; they have as much a right to work as fathers do, and I don't see anyone complaining about breadwinning males. Why are we not critiquing the wage gap, the glass ceiling, the appallingly low minimum wage, the lack of government support for single mothers, and all other institutional conditions that force single mothers and other hardworking parents to work two or three jobs just to pay the rent? If mothers who would rather be at home raising their children are required to work just to feed their family let's not blame them; they didn't have a choice. It is absurd to assume that the problem is not enough women staying at home, instead of not enough men at home, or not enough government aid to working mothers, or any other number of social issues. It is not easy to be a working mother and it is not a task anyone undertakes lightly, so I don't think others should sit around second-guessing someone who is doing it. It is also absurd to assume that what is fulfilling for one woman will automatically be the best choice for another woman; some women may wish to be a full-time mom, some may not, so let's not prescribe from above what is best. I say bravo to women who manage to have the best of both the professional and the familial worlds, as men have been able to do for centuries.
As for the other argument, there are some people who would claim that the negative attitude towards stay at home moms expressed in the NYU viewpoint is 'feminist,' but in my opinion it is very far from it. The article perpetuates extremely chauvinistic assumptions that raising children is not a full-time and hugely important profession. Why are we not adamantly decrying these ignorant societal assumptions, rooted in a deep cultural tradition of misogyny? Instead, the article degrades the decision of women to take up the job of stay at home mom. It is a very difficult job that is hugely aided by a good education - just ask your mom, she'll agree with me. An education is never a waste, especially not on a mother. For you university women who hope to be full-time mothers: Never let anyone tell you you're not a professional, because while they may be responsible for as much as a whole office, you will be responsible for the health and happiness of a human being, and having a college degree under your belt while you undertake that can't hurt.
How women choose to be mothers, should they choose to, is not anyone's business but their own, so let's give university educated women the benefit of the doubt of being intelligent enough to make at least one or two choices about their own lives. It was a huge step for American women to gain access to the same educational opportunities as men. Now that we have this freedom, is society going to start telling us what we can or cannot do with our diplomas?
