Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ... Jack Frost nipping at your nose.
Folks may be dressed up like Eskimos, but there are no yuletide carols being sung by this fire. Why? Because it's finals time, and in college dorms across the country, students are burning the midnight oil rather than burning the Yule log. As I sit here staring at the snow falling outside, I think about how cruel it is that just as the spirit of the season is growing, my semester is blowing.
I hate finals. I always have. Even in high school, while everyone else was studying, I was handing out candy canes and wrapping last minute presents. Who needs math when it's 65 degrees? That's almost cold enough to wear a scarf! (I'm from Texas ... we take what we can get.)
I have never come out of finals with higher grades. Does this mean that I am a bad student? Does this mean that my future is doomed, because I can't convince my head that it is better to cram for tests than to spend time with my friends and family?
I say no. What do finals do for you? Nothing. I hold fast to the idea that taking finals is not a life skill. I am not going to be a professional student, so why am I perfecting my final-taking abilities?
Finals are cruel and unusual. They take place over a few days. It's snowing and cheery outside. Students are homesick, especially those who didn't go home for Thanksgiving. They can count for half of your grade. At the same time, we start to realize that we won't see our friends for a month and want to spend every moment with them. And who wants to memorize note cards and write millions of pages? Not me!
Finals are not about who is smarter or will be more successful in life. They are about who hates life more.
I like that in many classes, you don't even know how you are doing in the class until finals.
"Hey Meredith, how are your classes going? "
"Well, I don't know. You see, I've been working and working all semester, but that doesn't matter, because it all comes down to this one paper which I have to write at the same time that I write two other papers and take two tests! That sounds fair, doesn't it?"
It's nice knowing that we are all in the same boat, but it is disheartening to know that the sane ones come out of finals doing worse. The ones who come out with A's at some point during the week will break out in hysterical fits of laughter, cry in the library, or fall asleep mid-conversation. It's entertaining to watch but sad at the same time.
Last year when I came home for winter break, I was in a semi-vegetative state. I had written 12 pages and taken two finals in two days. I was in my insomnia stage. It was the era of the famous seven-hour nap, which I'm pretty sure is immortalized in the Napping Hall of Fame. I actually fell asleep during one of my finals. And what did I have to show for all of this agony? Equal or worse grades in all of my classes. When I got back from my first semester of college, I looked like a train wreck with darker hair and pasty white skin. I had not seen the sun in weeks.
In middle school, we took finals to prepare us for high school. In high school, we took finals to prepare us for college. Why do we take finals in college? To prepare us for the outside world? I don't think so. If I ever apply for a job and one of the qualifications is to be a good finals taker, I won't take it.
Finals are awful, and I'm awful at taking them. They ruin an otherwise awesome semester. I know there is nothing to be done about finals, but I would just like to let all you students know that I, too, am sympathetic to the horror of finals.
But since this is my last column for a while, I want to wish everyone a good finals time and a great break. And if you want to reach me, I'll be in the library, staring out of the window looking at the snow falling and wishing I were in Texas.
