In the United States, an estimated 10 million people struggle with eating disorders, most commonly anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Chances are you may know one of these people. And when a statistic turns into a friend, it's hard to know just what to do. Even though treatment of an eating disorder often involves professional help, you CAN play a role:
What to do:
- Know your stuff: You may not understand what your friend is going through, but you'll be more effective if you've done your homework. Educate yourself. Below are a few sources to help you learn more.
- Show concern: Once you know what you're dealing with, approach your friend about his/her eating or exercise behaviors. Treat the situation with respect and patience.
- Listen up: Remember your role as a supportive and caring friend. Just having someone to talk to can be the best help of all.
- Respect privacy: Recognize the condition as a personal and confidential issue that your friend may not feel comfortable sharing. However, it's also important to act responsibly if you think your friend is in serious danger.
- Get help: Suggest that your friend see a counselor or doctor. Offer to go with him/her for moral support.
What NOT to do:
- Monitor food: Situations where food is involved can be difficult and awkward. Controlling your friend's eating may lead to anger and resentment in the relationship.
- Comment on weight: Chances are your friend spends plenty of time thinking about his/her weight. Don't waste time convincing his/her that he/she's not fat.
- Give simple solutions: Eating disorders are complex; rarely is the root of the problem as simple as controlling weight or dieting. Oftentimes, other emotional and personal issues are involved.
- Expect too much: Be prepared to have your advice ignored. Recovery is a long and complicated process that usually requires professional help. If your friend is not ready to recognize his/her problem, he/she will likely disregard your outstretched hand.
- Point fingers: Blaming your friend for his/her behaviors will only make the situation worse. Instead, be empathetic and acknowledge his/her struggle.
In the end, the choice for recovery lies with your friend - not you. Agree that recovery is hard, but emphasize the benefits of leading a normal, healthy life. Your friend may refuse to get help or deny the problem, but encourage him/her to talk with another trusted friend or family member. By expressing your concern, you'll have made an important first step.
For more information, visit the National Eating Disorders Association at www.NationalEatingDisorders.org; or contact Patricia Engel, MS, RD, Health Service Nutritionist at the Tufts Health Service, 617-627-3341.
